Page 3 of Impulsive Saint
“It’s not because of what you said.” Ashtyn took both of Kelsey’s hands and squeezed, “It’s just that… I can’t keep lying to myself. I’m not happy with Aaron and I won’t be happy married to him. I thought I could do it. I thought I could be the girl he wants me to be, the girl my parents expect me to be, but I can’t.”
“But…”
The words spilled out of her before she even realized they’d been lurking in the back of her mind, “Daddy always said I was too much like Mama and he was right.”
“Oh… Ash.” Kelsey squeezed her hand. “Do you want me to go get her? Do you want to talk to Delisa?”
“No.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing that Kelsey would go and get her mother from her spot on the front row if she asked, just as she knew that it wouldn’t make a difference. Her mother had come into town for the wedding even though she hadn’t been thrilled to hear her only daughter was marrying a politician, cut from the same mold as her father. Her mother wouldn’t talk her out of this. If anything, her mother would pack her bags for her and just knowing that was enough. Ashtyn shook her head, “No. Not Mama. I need you to go get Aaron for me. I need to tell him first.”
Kelsey hesitated, “Are you sure? Are you really sure you want to do this? Everything you’ve ever wanted and worked for is standing at the end of that aisle…”
“No, he wasn’t whatIwanted. Whattheywanted for me. I don’t know what I want because nobody has ever asked me, but I do know I have to figure that out and I can’t do it if I’m pretending to be the girl Aaron wants to marry. I just can’t keep up the facade anymore. Please, please go get him for me.”
Kelsey was nodding now but stark terror and dread filled her eyes, “Okay. I’ll go… I’ll go get him for you.”
Ashtyn squeezed her best friend’s hands again and then let her go so that she could leave the room again. She breathed out a sigh of relief and tried to get her own hands to stop shaking. She could do this. She could. She could face Aaron and tell him the truth. She repeated that mantra to herself until the door cracked open again and a tall figure in a custom-tailored tuxedo strolled in looking as if he was in command of the entire world. Then his eyes settled on her and she watched as that look of assurance slowly drained from his handsome face.
Aaron closed the door behind him softly. When he turned back to her, his expression was blank. There was nothing in his eyes now. He looked as if he was made of stone when he took her appearance in slowly, from the top of her mussed hair to the bottom of her wrinkled dress. He pursed his lips and then he seemed to take a deep breath, bracing himself to deal with her, before he pushed his shoulders back and tilted his chin up with determination.
God, that look alone confirmed everything she’d been thinking. This man was her father’s protégé. He was a politician through and through, and he was good at what he did. He could hide anything beneath that veil of masked scrutiny and she couldn’t live her life that way, not anymore.
“We’re not getting married today, are we?”
Ashtyn wasn’t surprised at all that he’d taken one look at her and known what she needed to say, “I’m so sorry Aaron. I can’t.”
His jaw twitched, the only outward sign that ever hinted at the anger he kept locked inside of him. He never let it out. Never. He’d been trained better than that. He’d been groomed since childhood for a role in the public eye and he never lost his cool.
Never.
“You couldn’t have decided this before all two hundred and fifty of our guests were seated and the minister took his spot at the altar?”
Ashtyn winced at the accusation of the words even if his tone was bland, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Aaron. I know that isn’t enough, not even close and you deserve an explanation but...”
He held up a hand and she clamped her mouth shut. That too was a trained reaction. One she hated herself for. Her father had used that same gesture to hush her all her life and she’d never even realized, until now, that her fiancé did the exact same thing.
“Your explanations and excuses are not necessary.” Aaron clipped the words out dryly, “We aren’t getting married. Fine, that’s your choice. Just know that you’re making the biggest mistake of your life walking out on me like this. You’re not going to find anyone better suited for you than me and I won’t take you back when you realize that.”
Ashtyn opened her mouth and then shut it again without a word. There was more indifference in his tone than she’d expected and the words felt like a slap in the face. Maybe that was exactly what she deserved. Maybe shewasmaking a mistake, but she’d never know if she didn’t make it. She had to make this choice for herself. She had to do what she thought was right.
Aaron wasn’t sad. He wasn’t even mad. Somewhere beneath his mask of skilled indifference, he was upset. She knew he must be. But he’d dismissed her already, without trying to win her back at all. That right there was all she’d needed to confirm her suspicions.
Aaron didn’t love her any more than she loved him. This had all been a mistake, from the moment her father had introduced them until this very moment, everything between them had been a carefully coordinated lie. If she’d gone through with it, if she’d married him, it would have been the biggest mistake of her life.
“I’m sorry.” she said again softly.
“I’ll go and get your mother for you. I’m sure you’ll want a shoulder to cry on. Your father and I will have to clean up this mess.” Aaron turned to leave, pulling the door open and then snarling at Kelsey when he saw her on the other side, “If I find out you had anything to do with this, I will destroy you.”
Kelsey’s mouth fell open at his threat but she managed to move out of his way before he mowed her down. She gathered herself quickly and shot a glance at the bodyguard that had followed Aaron when she went to retrieve him. He looked more than a little confused by what was happening but he only gave a curt nod and then headed in the direction Aaron had gone at a quick jog.
Once the men were gone, Kelsey shut the door behind her again and moved towards Ashtyn. She pulled her into a tight hug and Ashtyn clung to her best friend for a moment, allowing herself to accept the comfort. She felt tears prickle her eyes again and blinked fast, trying to force them back.
“I’m so sorry.” Kelsey held her at arms-length, a knowing glint in her eye. “I thought he’d at least fight for you, try to convince you to change your mind, even if it was just to save face.”
“Don’t. Please.” Ashtyn shook her away, “I can’t break down right now. My dad is going to be on a warpath.”
“I’ll go and try to stall him. Get yourself together. You stood up for yourself with Aaron. You can do the same with your father. I believe in you, Ash.”
Kelsey turned and left the room again and Ashtyn clutched at her stomach. She could feel another panic attack coming on just thinking of what must come next. She was sweating again and she felt dizzy. She thought she might pass out if she didn’t get some fresh air.
