Page 47 of The Marriage Pact
He smiled at her and nodded. “I had to. And I’m so sorry.”
Kaitlyn stepped aside and let him in. She hoped the fact that she’d been crying wasn’t obvious. The house was a mess, and she wondered how she looked to him. A mess, too, probably. He handed her the flowers, smiling at her as she blushed.
“I tried to call you, but your phone was off,” she said, looking around for a vase, even as her hands were trembling as she held the flowers, with their sweet perfume filling the air.
“I left it in New York,” he replied.
Kaitlyn looked at him in surprise. Was he serious? He must mean his personal phone. There was no way he’d leave the business behind, even remotely. Even as he stood there, Kaitlynwas half-expecting his pocket to buzz or bleep, for a call to come through, but there was something different in the way he was looking at her. She had his full attention.
“Really?” she asked.
He nodded and smiled. “I know you don’t believe me. You think it’s going to go off any minute and that I’m going to answer it, and we’re going to argue, and things are going to be no different. But they are.”
Again, Kaitlyn blushed. It was what she’d been thinking, and she felt bad for doing so. The fact that he’d come all this way to talkandhadleft his phone behind meant so much to her. And yet the fact of her own secret weighed heavily on her mind. This was the time for truth. But not before she’d heard what he wanted to say first.
“You do have a habit of doing that,” she said.
Alex nodded. “I know, and I want to put things right between us. I hated arguing. We never argued before. I’m so sorry if I upset you. I never meant to. Really, I didn’t. I was caught up with the deal and the business, and all of that. But that’s no excuse. I brought you to New York. I expected you to fit in, and I thought I could just give you whatever you wanted and you’d be happy,” he said, looking sheepish.
“Shall I make us some coffee?” Kaitlyn asked.
He smiled at her and nodded before sitting down on the couch as she boiled the kettle and made French press coffee. It gave her time to think about what she wanted to say. How was she supposed to tell him? The thought of just saying it seemed trite.“Oh, by the way, I’m pregnant.”She still didn’t know how he’dreact. Would he be angry? Would he want her to get rid of her and the baby?
“Thank you,” Alex said as Kaitlyn handed him the cup and came to sit next to him on the couch.
Their posture reminded her of the sculpture, not touching, but close. It seemed to represent everything that had happened between them. There was always a gap, as though they couldn’t ever entirely let themselves focus on one another. That had to change. The figures had to come together.
“I still can’t believe you came all this way to see me,” she said.
“Why wouldn’t I? You mean the world to me, Kaitlyn. When you left, I realized how stupid I’d been,” he said, setting down his coffee cup and slipping his hand into hers. “I’m so sorry I took you for granted. I didn’t think about your feelings or how different it was going to be for you. It wasn’t fair. And then I was always working, doing what I’d done when you weren’t there. But that wasn’t right. I should’ve given you the attention you deserved. I lost you once, and I don’t want to lose you again.”
His words brought a lump to Rachel’s throat. But a nagging question remained: why would he change now? He hadn’t before. There’d been promises. That night at the wedding, when everything had seemed possible. Kaitlyn couldn’t help but feel doubtful.
“But why would now be any different?” she asked.
She didn’t want to sound harsh or to make him feel guilty, but the question was a legitimate one. Taking a deep breath, he looked her straight in the eyes with a determined expression on his face.
“Because I’m stepping back from the business, that’s why,” he replied.
For a moment, Kaitlyn thought she’d misheard him. He couldn’t really mean that. The business was his life. He’d lived and breathed Lancaster Holdings since those first days at Harvard. How could he possibly step back from that now? It meant everything to him.
“No… Alex, don’t say that. You don’t mean it. I know you want to put things right, but don’t make a promise you can’t keep, please,” she said.
But he shook his head, still looking at her with that same imploring, hopeful look. “It’s going to be different this time. I promise. And I’ve already made it happen. I’ve promoted Hilary. She’s the new CEO now. Goodness knows she deserves it. I’ll still have the final say on major decisions, and I’ll be head of the board, but that’s it. Day-to-day, I’ll be hands-off. I won’t be leaving before dawn and getting back after nine. I mean what I said, Kaitlyn. I want this to work, and I want us to be together. You’re all that matters to me.”
The lump had returned to Kaitlyn’s throat. She was finding it hard not to burst into tears. He’d done all that for her? He’d given up everything that made him who he was to be with her?
“I can’t ask you to do that. You’ve worked for years to build the company and make it what it is today. It’s not fair to expect you to take a back seat,” she said, but again he shook his head.
“The Jamaica deal fell through. After everything I did, it fell through. It came to nothing. I worked and worked, and what do I have to show for it? That’s when I realized what really mattered, and what I’d neglected. You didn’t need my money or lots ofthings, or even a fancy apartment. You wanted to be withme.And I want to be with you. Then there was this, too.”
From his pocket, he took out a bundle of photos. Kaitlyn recognized them at once. She’d sorted them out from old albums here at her mom’s house and sent them off to be digitally enhanced. She’d forgotten about them since returning to Cedarhurst, but now he held them up, the first one showing the two of them together on prom night.
“Don’t we look young?” Kaitlyn said, shaking her head and smiling.
It seemed like another world. Itwasanother world.
Alex replied, “Don’t we look happy? I looked at these, and I saw a different person looking back at me, one who liked drinking sodas and eating peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. One who was proud of his mathlete sweater and liked goofing about in Betsy and going to the drive-thru. I lost all that. And you gave me the chance to have it all back. To my shame, I nearly lost it again. That’s why I’m here.”
