Page 78 of Coming Home to You
If something had happened to me today, if I’d died, Kelsey wouldn’t have been the only one who’d suffered.
I reach out my hand, as if to shake Finn’s.He stares at me for a few seconds before lifting his hand to mine.I grab it, squeezing his fingers as I say, “I’m okay, Finn.And I promise you; I’m not going anywhere.You can’t get rid of me that easily,” I add on, winking at him now.
Finn finally smiles, his whole body relaxing as he registers what I’m telling him.Squeezing my hand once, he drops it and sits back in his chair, smiling as he says, “So, what are you gonna do next?”
I smile, knowing this is without a doubt, the right move for me.There’s no way I can even think about going back to Boston, not with how I feel about Kelsey.And definitely not after I’ve finally woken up to how much I need her in my life.Walking away from her might have been the dumbest move I ever made, but staying now, well that’s gotta be my smartest.
“I’m gonna talk to Pop about finally retiring and letting me run the pub,” I say.
Finn cocks an eyebrow in surprise.“You sure about that?”he says.“What about the dream of being a big hot shot detective?”
I shrug, wincing again as I’m reminded of the pain.“Yeah, been there, done that, got the scar to prove it,” I say, smiling at him as I gesture to my shoulder.
Finn looks at me as if he’s trying to work out what I’m saying.As though maybe he doesn’t really believe me.
I take a deep breath as I continue.“I’m not gonna lie, Finn,” I say.“Being a cop, a detective, is all I ever wanted to be.But…” I stop, take another breath as I try to work out how I can say this and have him believe me.“Coming back here, finally acknowledging how I still feel about Kelsey, how much I’ve missed herandyou and Pop,” I say.“Well it’s kinda shown me what’s really important in life.”
Finn’s nodding at me, as though he approves of what I’m saying.“So, you’re gonna stick around then, huh?”
I smile.“Yeah, thought I might stick around permanently actually,” I say, grinning at him.“You know, spend time with my brother and Pop again.Maybe finally make that woman out there my wife.”
Finn grins at me now as he says, “She know that yet?”
I smile back at him.“Not yet, but she will.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kelsey
It’s been two weeks since everything went down with Jason.We found out far more information from the police in Gloucester than I think I ever needed to know.Jason had aliases all over the country and was arrested on several counts of stalking ten years ago in Miami, Florida, which was where he was employed as sheriff in Miami-Dade County.After the stalking charges stuck, a class E felony in the state, he was fired and that’s when he basically made his rounds all over the U.S., changing his name with each move he made.He stalked and harassed countless women although as of right now, Rachel appears to be his only murder victim.
They ended up finding Rachel’s body, weighed down by cinder blocks, at the bottom of the dock outside the house where Jason held me hostage.The house actually belonged to her grandparents, who left it to her when they died.She rarely used it, but the police in Gloucester claimed to have searched it top to bottom during their investigation of her disappearance, yet they never thought to drag the inlet just off the property.Her body was found, but badly decomposed and barely recognizable, and after expedited dental records were returned, it was confirmed that it was in fact her.I cried when I got that call.A part of me hoped she was still alive somewhere.
Even though I never met her, I felt a strange connection to her, like I was somehow linked to her forever.We shared something and seeing that I survived, I felt like I found justice for her.Her parents showed up at the hospital to thank us, and I was floored.I realized I was able to give them what they had been seeking for a year.Peace.
Knowing Jason was dead gave us all peace of mind, but finally being able to lay their daughter to rest was a huge relief.I was glad that something came out of this mess and that I was able to help a family heal.
Beck and I have been home for a week now, but it hasn’t been without its problems.I struggle to sleep at night, with dreams ranging anywhere from Jason actually raping me, to Beck dying, and everything in between.
I began seeing a therapist immediately upon returning home and each day gets a little easier.Even though I know Jason is dead, it still doesn’t make it all go away.
Beck stayed in the hospital for a week and as much I wanted to be with him every second, the hospital wouldn’t allow me to stay after that first night.Devastated and admittedly scared shitless to go home by myself, Finn stayed every single night with me until Beck was able to come home.
I know Finn feels guilty for what happened, blames himself, and harbors far too much self-hatred for one person.During the week he was with me, we talked in great detail about what happened and how I can’t thank him enough for everything he did and still does for me.Without Finn, I’m not sure I would have survived Beck leaving, and when he rescued me; there was no one else I trusted more at that moment than him.We’re all working through our issues and I hope that one day Finn will realize what an amazing support system he was for me.
I’ve never been more grateful for anything in my life than to finally have Beck home and resting.We haven’t talked about what will happen when Beck is released to return to work and I’m not entirely sure I want to broach the subject.Right now, I need to focus on him getting better and helping myself recover.
I roll over and stare up at the ceiling, waking for the first time in two weeks to light shining through the windows.I smile when I realize I didn’t dream last night —not a single nightmare, no night terrors or cold sweats.
“What’s that smile for?”Beck asks.His voice is groggy with sleep, but I can hear the happiness in it.
“I didn’t have a nightmare last night,” I say, looking over at him and I can feel myself beaming.
“Oh, baby, that’s great news.Things are getting better.”
I nod my head in hopes that he’s right.I feel Beck slip his arm under my neck and I lean into his chest; his smell being the one thing that can still calm me to this day.I inhale as he runs his fingers down my back and kisses the top of my head.
“I love you,” he whispers.
