Page 122 of Not Part of the Plan
Emma jogged the rest of the way to One Love Park where the farmers market was in full swing. The colorful canopies created a rainbow above homemade soaps and soups, hand woven socks, and fresh funnel cakes. The free-range petting zoo which consisted of farm animals milling about the park was, as anticipated, a wonderful disaster.
People called out greetings to her, but she was on a mission. Hehadto be here. She had to find him. It couldn’t be too late.
Through her watery vision, Emma spotted him. And the relief cut through her like an axe. Her entire body sang. Niko was crouched down, taking pictures of Aurora who was cuddling a struggling chicken that looked like it wished it could return to its free-range life. Ellery, decked out in her Frankenstein shoes and glitter skull t-shirt, stood nearby gnawing on her black fingernails and checking her watch.
“Nikolai!” Emma waved.
He glanced up from the screen of the camera he held, a frown of concentration on his face. When he saw her, something that looked like hope lit his eyes before he carefully put it away, returning his beautiful face to the impassive mask.
She was running now, looking like a hysterical idiot in her pajamas. She knew someone would be live streaming her breakdown to the Blue Moon Facebook group and didn’t care.
She was long overdue for putting herself out there, heart and humiliation be damned.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she gasped the words out. She gripped his forearms with her hands, determined to keep him here. She needed him to hear every terrifying word. “I was so wrong,” she began, her voice breaking a little.
“Mama, what’s happening?” Aurora hissed at Gia. Her sister held up a finger to her lips to shush the little girl.
“I spent my entire life trying to protect myself from hurt. I thought I wanted safe and stable and boring,” she let out a short laugh. “But in protecting myself from hurt, I ended up locking myself away from life… and love.”
Nikolai swallowed hard but said nothing.
“You saw me,” she whispered. “Reallysaw me. And you loved me, not just for the role I played but for the woman I am underneath all my fears, all my needs. You saw that hot mess clinging futilely to control, and you still wanted me.”
“So what are you saying?” he asked softly. She heard it, that slight hint of Russia woven into his words.
“I’m saying I love you, Nikolai. I want a life with you, whatever that may look like. I want to live a life of adventure with you. I want to be scared about losing you. I want to wake up sweating because you’re draped over me every damn morning. I want to be late to work because we got carried away. I’ll follow you anywhere as long as you promise to follow me, too.”
Nikolai looked down at the camera in his hands. He pulled away from her grip, and Emma felt the first punch of fear. But he handed the camera to Aurora.
“Kid, I’m going to want some good pictures of this, okay?”
Aurora nodded solemnly when he looped the strap over her head. “That button right there. Got it?”
“Oh, God, please don’t break that, Roar,” Gia whispered under her breath.
Nikolai straightened and took Emma’s hands. Her heart sang with hope, with love, with all of the feelings she’d ignored for so long.
“What made you change your mind?”
“Someone proposed to me and offered to let me make all the decisions in life from here on out.”
“You’reengaged?” There was fight in those beautiful dark eyes of his.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Emma heard Ellery chanting softly as she swiped her hands over her pale face, dislodging her heart shaped sunglasses.
Emma shook her head and laughed. “No! He offered me everything I thought I wanted, except…”
Nikolai squeezed her hands. “Except what?” he demanded, his voice rough with emotion.
“Except you. He wasn’t you. I can have everything I thought I wanted in life, and it won’t be enough. It won’t even scratch the surface because what I really want is you.”
He was reeling her into him. His hands skimmed her hips, pulling her against him. “So you’re not engaged?” he clarified.
She shook her head. “Nope.”
Ellery bent from the waist and exhaled sharply. “Thank freaking God!”
Emma pointed at her. “I’m going to finish this first, but then you’re going to tell me why you’re watching this like a live-action soap opera.”
