Page 85 of Mr. Fixer Upper
“Honey, I tried. I was stirred up when it all happened. I was so fucking pissed at Meeghan for coming at you like that. For trying to lay this fake claim on me, for trying to humiliate you in front of your friends and co-workers. I was livid. I freaked on her on set, and Andy told me to get her out of there and get it sorted. So I took her back to the hotel away from cameras and attention and told her to get out of my life and yours.”
Those beautiful blue eyes welled with tears. “Why didn’t you tell me this?” she asked again.
“I tried,” Gannon insisted. “But you went allmeon me and wouldn’t listen!”
She gave a sad little laugh. “You taught me well. I almost took a swing at Meeghan downstairs when they ambushed me with her on camera.”
Gannon’s fingers closed in a fist. His jaw tightened. “They did what?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over. It’s all over. I can’t keep working for people who think humiliating me is worth ratings.”
He felt the panic well in his gut. “What about one more season?”
She crossed her arms in front of her as if she were cold. “I can’t do it. Not here. Not with them. Not with you.”
“Why not with me? Why can’t we start over?”
She was already shaking her head. “I was never looking for a relationship. I just fell, you know? Let’s just chalk it up to working in the industry we work in. There are casualties every day. This time it was us. We were a mistake.”
“Fuck that, Paige. You’re not a mistake to me. You’re my future.” He cupped her face in his hand, and for a second, she closed those beautiful eyes. “Give me a chance, honey.”
Her eyes opened, and in them, he saw only sadness. “I can’t trust you, Gannon.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the whole story earlier. I just didn’t want to put that experience into words. It was such a low point for me. It made me reevaluate everything. I didn’t date anyone before you—”
She put a hand on his chest. “I understand. I really do. And I’m sorry that you had that experience.”
He covered her hand with his.
She looked heavenward, her eyes still brimming why tears. “Why is this so hard?”
“Because we have something worth fighting for. I can’t lose you.”
She looked down at her sexy gold sandals that wrapped up her calves. “You hurt me. And I just keep getting humiliated over and over again.” Her voice broke, and Gannon couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled her into his arms and pressed her face against his chest.
He’d hurt her deeply, and the truth combined with a simple apology wasn’t going to be enough. He needed time to convince her.
She sniffled against him, and he pressed his cheek to the top of her head, breathing in her scent.
“I’m not looking for this kind of attention. Cameras, interviews, strangers thinking that they know my business. I have things I want to do, need to do, and this might cost me my chance at that.”
He pulled her in tighter, held her there, and wished she’d admit that this felt real and right. “I’m not going to let that happen,” he whispered against her hair. “Meeghan is never going to get her claws into you again. I’ll make sure of it.”
Paige was shaking her head again. “There are other reasons I can’t be with you Gannon. Reasons that aren’t your fault.”
“Make me a list, and I will fix or remove every single obstacle.”
She sighed, pulling back, and ran a finger under each eye. She straightened her shoulders, pulling herself back together again.
“You’re too much. Too overwhelming. Too consuming. How can I focus on my dreams and work if the only place I want to be is your bed?”
“Honey, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Youknowme. You know how I feel about you. I love you. I want to be there to watch you accomplish your dreams, and I sure as hell want to be there for everything else.”
“Gannon, we just don’t work. Maybe we would if we both were willing to put in the time, the effort. But right now, I need to find a new job. If I can find something now, a special or a short series, Becca and I can start our project early next year, and I feel like I can finally start my life. No more ‘one more season,’ no more humiliation by the network. I can call the shots. I can tell the stories I want to tell.”
“I want all of that for you. I can help you, or I can just stand on the sidelines and cheer you on. Whatever you want.” He was begging, but thismattered. Paige mattered. Her hopes and dreams were his.
“I’m so sorry, Gannon. I know this isn’t all your fault. I know it. But we’re just never going to work.”
