Page 98 of Holding on to Chaos
“And I would have told her to go fuck herself,” Emma snapped. Donovan saw Niko squeeze her shoulder in approval.
“That’s why she went after me,” Eva whispered. “I was the weak one.”
“Now you’re starting to piss me off,” Gia announced.
Eva shook her head. “You don’t understand. I grew up thinking I ruined my own mother’s life. I was young enough, dumb enough, to believe what she was telling me. For a long time.”
“Why did she show up here?” Beckett asked.
“Because I told her no.”
“That’s who Jax and I saw you on the street with,” Niko guessed.
Eva nodded. “She surprised me seconds after Dad and Phoebe walked out of the coffee shop. Told me she was going to make trouble for all of you if I didn’t pay out this time.”
“What could she have done?” Emma asked, getting up to pace.
“I can’t explain what it’s like to have the shadow of this woman hanging over me at all times. Every text, every phone call. Is it her? How much does she need now? Why won’t she leave me alone?”
“That’s why you moved so much,” Gia said quietly.
“She always found me.”
“How much money did you give her?” Emma asked.
Eva shrugged.
“Eva,” Donovan said.
Her sad hazel eyes met his gaze.
“No more lies,” he told her.
“Twenty-six thousand dollars.” Anger, hot and fierce, raced through his system, and Donovan wished he could shoot something or at least beat the hell out of someone.
“Why in the hell didn’t you tell us?” Gia demanded.
“At first I believed her. That you would blame me if you knew that I was the reason she left. Then I just wanted to keep her far away from all of you.”
Gia took a cleansing breath and then another one. And when that one didn’t work, she gave up. “I honestly don’t know who I’m more mad at right now.”
Beckett ran a hand down his wife’s hair, a steadying stroke, and Donovan wished he could do the same for Eva. But she needed to finish it.
“Explain what happened today,” Donovan told her.
“She put herself up in Eden’s B&B. And I had to either get her the money tonight or fess up to Donovan,” she said shooting a look at Beckett. “So, I came up with a plan to get her to leave without the money. I figured she kept threatening me with my family, and maybe I could do the same thing.”
“How?” Donovan asked.
“I told her that I’d come clean with everyone about everything and that her parents were here and ready to take her to rehab. We were all going to support her recovery and help her get clean so she could be brought back into the fold, so to speak.”
“Grandma and Grandpa?” Gia asked. “We haven’t seen them in years.”
Eva shrugged. “I thought it worked. She panicked and took off.”
“That’s how you became the monster?” Beckett asked, swiping a hand through his hair. Donovan shot the man a long cold look. If his friend had known anything about the trouble Eva was in and didn’t tell him? There wasn’t much room for forgiving him.
“Yeah,” Eva continued. “And I thought it worked. She ran out of the inn like she had Batman and the cops on her heels. She was so angry at the idea that she’d have to face everyone she abandoned. She doesn’t care about any of us. She just pushes buttons until she gets cash.”
