Page 15 of Where It All Began
“I don’t mean it like that. You’re not annoying. Well, I mean youare. But I just wasn’t prepared to have my life interrupted by a woman who…”
“Drives you insane?” she supplied, slipping the candy between her pink lips.
“I like you.” He said the words quietly, but she caught them all the same.
She blinked. “I annoy you because you like me?”
Verbalizing was not his strong suit, and his frustration was rising. “You weren’t what I was expecting.”
“Do you think you’re what I was expecting? I thought I’d be spending the summer with some elderly man in coveralls who chewed on straw and said ‘yep’ a lot.”
“At least your expectation wasn’t that far off. I have coveralls somewhere.”
She gave him the tiniest smile, and the knot that had settled in his gut loosened. “I was expecting some young, eager grad student who I could dump shit jobs on and not worry about.”Not spend hours in bed laying there thinking about.
“I’m not that different from your expectations,” Phoebe argued. “I’m perfectly willing to do shit jobs. I just need you to talk to me.”
“You’re not hearing what I’m not saying,” John sighed.
“What are you not saying?”
“I’m attracted to you, and I don’t want to be.”
“Ohhhh.” She drew the word out, and he saw a mixture of surprise and amusement on her face. “That sounds like a problem.”
“I know you’re laughing at me,” John grumbled.
“Kind of hard not to. There are some men out there who don’t mind being attracted to a woman who shows up on their doorstep.”
“It’s not something I’m willing to act on.”
Like a dog with a bone, Phoebe dug in. “Why not? Hypothetically, if we were attracted to each other, what would be wrong with exploring those feelings?”
“Well, first of all, I don’t know that you feel the same attraction that I do. Me acting on my attraction without regard for your feelings is disrespectful.”
“Let’s just clear that matter up right now. I’m find you attractive as hell, John.”
He didn’t want his blood to pound through his veins like that in reaction to her confession. Didn’t want to feel that quiver of hope that swooped through his gut.
“Physically at least,” she clarified. “Your personality has yet to be determined.”
Hers had been determined from the first second she opened her mouth, he thought wryly. “We’re too different. I don’t like loud, opinionated women.”
“But you like me.”
“We’re opposites,” he said, grasping desperately for the words that would make her understand, make her shut up and leave it all alone. “You belong to Culture Club, and I haven’t been more than one state away from Blue Moon my entire life. You’re smart. I didn’t go to college. You’re funny. I think we can both agree that I’m not. And I’m responsible for you while you’re staying with me. I don’t want to get distracted from that.”
Now she looked genuinely confused. “Culture Club?”
“That shirt you wear. Culture Club.”
“‘Do you really want to hurt me?’”
John shoved a hand through his hair in frustration. “No. Of course I don’t want to hurt you. That’s what I’m trying to avoid.”
She was shaking her head. “It’s a song. By Culture Club, a band.”
Great. And now he looked like an idiot.“I’m not great with pop culture,” he mumbled.
