Page 84 of The Christmas Fix
Cat brought her shoulders to her ears. “I don’t know! I mean. We’re in town, and there’s not much else to do at night… but is he really the fling kind of guy? I mean, he’s got a daughter, and what if it gets out around town that we’re… uh… banging? Like is Sara going to be embarrassed and grossed out? Are people going to think he’s an idiot for rolling around naked with me since we all know it can’t last?”
She saw the thought flash through Paige’s blue eyes and held up a hand. “Uh-uh. It can’t work,” Cat said firmly. “I’m not getting in a long-distance relationship at this point in my life. Noah’s entire life is here, and asking him and Sara and, hell, Mellody and her future husband because they’re a co-parenting unit to give all that up and move to New York or better yet follow me around the country? Stupid and not happening.”
“And staying here isn’t an option?”
“I have a school to build, a show to host, a life too big for Merry. Besides, aren’t I supposed to be fake dating Drake for ratings?”
“Oh please. Don’t pull that crap with me,” Paige gave her the stop-throwing-your-peas-on-the-floor look that Cat had seen her give Gabby only yesterday. “You really think that I would force you to fake a relationship? Have you completely forgotten the disaster on Kings when they started mic-ing me and making Gannon and I look all hot and heavy for each other?”
“Youwerehot and heavy for each other,” Cat pointed out.
“You know I would never ask you to fake a relationship. If you choose to, that’s fine, but don’t use that as an excuse to hide from your feelings for Noah.”
“Who says I have feelings?”
“The fact that we’re having this conversation!”
“Fair enough,” Cat was yelling. “So, what do I do? Give me some married lady, smart woman wisdom here.”
“I guess you find out if Noah’s okay with some short-term naked fun and go from there,” Paige suggested.
Cat nodded. “Good idea. That I can work with. How do I find that out?”
Paige laughed. “When’s the last time you were in a relationship?”
“I don’t know. I guess Drake?”
Paige scoffed. “Please, that was just a two-month long booty call. There was no relationship there.”
Cat frowned and dug her way back through her sexual history. “I guess it was Miguel?”
Paige frowned. “I don’t remember him.”
“That’s because I dated him my senior year of high school. He took me to prom. I gave him his first blow job.” Cat smiled fondly at the memory.
“You’re a piece of work.” Paige shook her head.
“My blow jobs are masterpieces,” Cat insisted.
“You’re thirty-how-old, and you’ve never been in a relationship?”
“Do I look like I would even want to make the time?” Cat argued. “I love my life just as it is.”
“Then maybe you should let Noah walk away unscathed from this,” Paige suggested. “He’s divorced. You already know he does the relationship thing. What if he gets attached and then we pack up and drive on back to the city?”
“Noah isn’t some sad puppy who’d run after my truck as I leave town,” Cat insisted. She rubbed a hand over her heart that had inexplicably started to ache. She’d felt it, that connection between them. It’s why she tried to make their second time more impersonal, but she’d fucked that up too. Watching him over her shoulder. She’d felt their connection in her blood when they came together. It wasn’t just another fling. But it couldn’t be a relationship.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Cat let herself into her trailer and face-planted on the couch. The long days of filming hadn’t always bothered her, certainly not when the ratings for the first two episodes were sky-high. But this show was more hands-on than most, and the lack of sleep from the night before caught up with her by noon. She’d had a ridiculous amount of caffeine that had decided to abandon her system all at once, leaving her weak and shaky.
It was the only explanation for how filming with Reggie had gone.
Reggie’s reveal had gone well. The man had cried standing in the middle of his kitchen, clutching the new spatula Cat had engraved with the Jamaican flag.
Then of course Cat had cried. Something she rarely did on camera. Drake was already gracefully swiping errant tears from his gorgeous cheekbones, something both the female and gay viewership would swoon over when the show aired.
But no one needed to see her wipe snot on her sleeve every ten seconds. Cat chalked it up to the lack of sleep and the rawness she still felt. Noah had done something to her. He’d stripped her bare with a wild tenderness that she’d never known, never expected. And now her soul was just a little rough around the edges from it.
