Page 38 of The Fine Art of Faking It
“Do you really want to get into that conversation now, or do you want me to make the bed and dust or vacuum or whatever needs done while you go get flowers and a marriage-saving gift?”
She blinked at him. It was only a quick flash, but Davis saw it all the same. Relief.
“Are you screwing with me right now?” she asked.
“Despite my actions fifteen years ago, I’m not a horrible person out to screw you, Eden. At least not in that sense. There are other meanings behind the word that I’d be happy to discuss the potential of with you. Go. I’ve got this.”
She hesitated. “Sunny’s coming in in half an hour for snack time.”
“Then she can handle the front desk. Just show me where the linens and those little bottles of shampoo are.”
“Thank you.” She said it like it pained her. And Davis felt a fifteen-year-old knot loosen somewhere in his chest.
“You’re welcome. Now go.”
She made it to the doorway before he stopped her.
“Eden?”
“Yeah?”
“Did he give you a budget on the gift?”
She shook her head. A slow smile spreading across her pretty face. “Nope.”
“Make sure he never forgets another anniversary.”
* * *
BEAUTIFICATION COMMITTEE GUIDELINES
SECTION 147, SUBPARAGRAPHS B-XXY: ASSISTED WOO-ING
In some trickier matches, Committee members may find it necessary to give the match a helping hand on the road to their happily ever after. While we are constantly striving to improve our capabilities, these are options that have served us well in the noble quest for true love:
The use of harmless fibbing in guiding matchees to each other.
Manipulating environments for amorous and romantic mood enhancement.
Crafting situations in which matchees will be required to spend large amounts of time together.
Creating false realities in which matchees are forced to reconcile their feelings.
Hypnosis (note: used only as a last resort and with varying degrees of success).
16
Eden put her hatchback in gear and accelerated down the driveway as quickly as she could without squealing her tires. Blue Moon was five minutes away, and everything in town was within five minutes of town limits. If she called ahead for the flowers, she could hit the jewelry store because Forgetful Husband was definitely going to make up for forgetting and swing by the grocery store for the essentials on the growing list on her phone.
She used her voice activation and dialed the flower shop.
“Every Bloomin’ Thing. This is Liz. How can I help you?”
“Liz. I have a flower emergency,” Eden told her.
“I just so happen to have some emergency flower arranging time available.”
“Good because I need an over-the-top bouquet of baby pink roses that say ‘I’m sorry for forgetting our tenth anniversary.’”
