Page 51 of The Fine Art of Faking It
A collective gasp went up around the room.
“How did you even know there was a Section 718?” Bruce demanded, grabbing at his graying hair until it stood out in tufts behind his ears.
“How did you know you were a match?” Rainbow asked.
Eden pointed toward the whiteboard.
EDEN + DAVIS = LOVE
She glancedat Eva who had her eyes squeezed shut tight. What had recently begun as an investigative assignment to infiltrate the Beautification Committee had turned into real loyalty somewhere along the way. Eden almost felt sorry for her friend.Almost.
“Per the Town Ordinance 17-06 of 1985, I observed suspicious activity at a committee member’s home and let myself in,” Eden lied. Blue Moon had an oddly specific ordinance granting townsfolk access to their neighbor’s homes. “This binder was readily available, and while I made sure there was no imminent danger, I just happened to open the binder to Page 336.”
“What danger did you think you witnessed?” Bruce demanded shrewdly.
“Um. Squirrels?” Eden hadn’t quite worked out that part of the lie.
“Amethyst! I told you not to leave your binder lying around. This is why we have the fire safe in the basement!” Apparently, Bruce and Amethyst had a squirrel problem at home.
Amethyst hung her silvery beehive in shame.
“Let’s not point fingers here,” Eden said hastily. “I would like to present my case for being unmatched.”
“Huddle!” Bruce called shrilly. The committee members abandoned their chairs and huddled up in front of the whiteboard. A heated conversation took place with the occasional head poking up out of their circle to look at Eden.
After a good three minutes of huddling, the committee members broke apart.
“We will now hear your dissent,” Ellery said regally.
Eden consulted her index cards. “I would like to void this match based on the grounds that there are no mutual feelings of affection, that the match would exacerbate current emotional distress, and that the match was proposed as a way to benefit the community rather than based on the needs of the couple.”
Bruce covered his face with his hands and let out a moan while the remaining committee members broke into loud commentary. Eden tapped her index cards against her jeans and waited.
“Huddle!” Ellery screeched over the commotion. Once again, the Beautification Committee members circled up.
They debated longer this time. Giving Eden not much else to do but stare around the room. She looked at the whiteboard again. Under the couple equation written at the top was a list of other names. Sammy Ames, Blue Moon’s large animal vet and Eden’s BFF, was at the top. Layla’s was stuffed in the middle. Beneath the names—future victims, Eden supposed—was a number. $47,735. And beneath that was a bar graph shaded up to the $100 line. There was a list of suggestions next to the graph.
Fundraisers
1. Beautification Committee Nudist Calendar
2. Bake Sale
3. Place Remaining Annual Budget on Horse in Race.
Bruce peekedup out of the huddle “Ms. Moody, the Beautification Committee consents to hearing your reasons.”
“Uh, I just told you my reasons,” Eden reminded him, eyes flitting back to the whiteboard.
“Oh, of course. How silly of me.” He ducked back into the pile, and the whispering started again.
Eden helped herself to a cup of punch while she waited and studied the figure on the board. It was the exact amount of damages to Davis’s house. She’d heard him discussing it on the phone with Calvin Finestra at breakfast one morning.
Did that mean—
“Ms. Moody,” Bruce said abruptly. “The Beautification Committee is prepared to vote on your petition.”
Oh, crap. That wasn’t in the binder.
