Page 70 of The Fine Art of Faking It
“Yes,” Davis answered.
Eden’s mother threw her head back and cackled. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Okay, Hilarious Hilda. It’s notthatfunny,” Eden said.
“You two would be a horrible couple,” Lilly Ann pressed. “I mean come on. You dress like you’re in a motorcycle gang, and he’s all Mr. Suits over there. You’re a beautiful, sweet, kind soul, and Davis—no offense—is the demon spawn of those Gates monsters.”
“None taken,” Davis said amicably. He draped Eden’s coat over her shoulders.
“They thought it would put an end to your stupid feud that has apparently tortured your friends and neighbors for fifty years,” Eden explained.
Ned waved a hand dismissively. “That’s ridiculous. Everyone loves our feud.”
“Dad,” Eden rubbed her temples in exasperation. “No, they don’t. The whole town wishes we’d all just bury the hatchet.”
“Oh, I know exactly where I’d bury the hatchet,” Lilly Ann said looking at Davis darkly. “Right between your mother’s—”
“Mom!”
“What? I was just going to say butt cheeks.”
“Help me out here, Davis, please?” Eden begged.
He stepped forward into the spotlight cast by one of the brewery’s exterior lights. “Eden and I would appreciate it if you could pretend that you don’t know that our relationship is just a means to revenge.” He looked at her as he said it.
Oh, yeah. He was definitely… annoyed? Angry? She couldn’t read him. But she’d deal with him later.
“In fact, if you want to be upset about it to everyone else, that would be great. You’ll be helping us… me,” Eden added. It wouldn’t hurt to have the Moodys showing no sign of backing down on their end of the feud to further prove the Beautification Committee wrong.
“You expect us to not only recognize but also participate in a temporary truce in the battle we’ve been fighting our entire lives?” Ned demanded.
“Oooh! We could fake disown you!” Lilly Ann said fingers fluttering as she got into the spirit. “I’ve always wanted to disown a child!”
Her mother had interesting life goals.
“I don’t know about this, Buttercup,” Ned said to his wife. But Lilly Ann was committed.
“Now, you’ll need to make sure you’re selling it,” she instructed Eden. “Don’t let your natural dislike of each other cloud your acting ability.”
Eden decided now was not the time to point out that her parents had spotted them together inside and blew their collective gaskets after buying the ruse.
“Okay, Mom,” Eden said, pushing them in the direction of the parking lot.
“I think we should make sure,” Lilly Ann insisted.
If Eden’s blood pressure got any higher, her head was going to explode.
“Kiss her,” Lilly Ann ordered Davis.
“Excuse me?” Davis paled, his eyes beseeching Eden in the dark.
“Mom, it’s been a long night. Why don’t you and Dad just head home—”
“If I’m going to get into character as a mother whose daughter has deeply disappointed her, I need to feel it, Eden.”
Lilly Ann had once been the understudy for Annie in the Blue Moon High School’s 1980 performance ofAnnie Get Your Gun. The experience had convinced her that she was born to be an actress.
“Eden, be a good girl and kiss your fake boyfriend.”
