Page 72 of Finally Mine
She tucked her hands between her knees. “You’ve spent your whole life being larger than life. Respected, admired. You’re scared of losing that because your body is different. For me, all I’ve ever wanted is to be seen. To have people wave to me on the street. To belong. Damage makes you feel like you don’t deserve it.”
“You deserve everything good in this life.” The vehemence in his tone surprised them both.
“I’m not so sure about that,” she confessed. “But what I want to know is why would you assume that being an amputee makes you less worthy? If that line of thinking proves true, wouldn’t it mean that me choosing to endure ten years of systemic abuse makes me unworthy of being loved?”
“You didn’t choose it,” he argued.
“I had more of a say in my shit than you did,” she pointed out.
He hated that she felt that way. “You’re here now,” Aldo insisted.
“And so are you. Are we going to sit around and have a pissing match over scars? Or are we going to do something with this second chance we’ve both been gifted?”
He hoped to God that second chance that she mentioned was the relationship kind. “I don’t want you to have to fight any more battles, Gloria.”
“That’s funny because I’m thinking the only way I’m going to grow is by fighting a few of my own battles.”
He closed his eyes, the wisdom of her words washing over him. “I’ve waited so long for my chance with you, and I’ve done everything I can to fuck it all up.”
“Well, at least I know you’re human.”
“I was an asshole. I was terrified, I still am, of what this new life is going to look like. What I can and can’t do. I’m exhausted from trying to get back to where I started, and I’m so far from that.”
“One step at a time,” she reminded him.
His laugh was bitter. “I’m not a one-step kind of guy.”
“Yeah. You’re a balls-to-the-wall, sprint-a-marathon-and-then-bench-press-the-losers kind of guy.” She bumped his shoulder, letting him know she was joking. “But look at it this way. If you come back from this, you’ve proved to yourself and everybody out there exactly how tough you are.”
“I want to prove it to you.”
“First, your explanation and apology,” she insisted.
“When I came home, I was in a dark place. I thought you deserved better than a bitter, wounded vet. I want you to feel safe, and I don’t see how you could feel like that with me.”
“Safety doesn’t come from being physically secure, Aldo. I’ll feel safe with a man that I can count on to respect me.”
He flinched. His reaction to her welcome home had been the exact opposite.
“I’m sorry for taking my shit out on you. I’m sorry for shutting you out and pushing you away.”
“Are you going to do it again?” she pressed.
He shook his head. “I’ll never do iton purposeagain.” He was nothing if not honest.
She looked him in the eye, nodded. “Okay then. You’re forgiven. But if you feel like taking something out on me again, think twice. I don’t let that happen anymore.”
He couldn’t help himself. Aldo slid his arm around her shoulders and held her against him. Her small body fit his like a puzzle piece. “I’m really proud of you, Glo.”
“I’m pretty proud of you, too,” she said softly. She was looking at his mouth, her lids heavy, lips full.
He could kiss her, right here on this bench as Benevolence celebrated around them. But when he moved in, she put a hand on his chest. “Aldo. Don’t you think we should focus on being friends for a little while? I mean given how vulnerable we both are right now, we could both use a friend. Relationships can be…complicated.”
Aldo couldn’t calm the fear that kicked up inside him. The friend zone was not his final destination.
“I want more, Gloria. My feelings for you aren’t just friendly. I don’t want to pressure you, but I don’t want to settle either.”
“Aldo, we literally just made up. I don’t know if I can trust you to not go back to New Aldo who can’t stand me.”
