Page 69 of Bourbon Bliss
“Yeah, if you kept dating jackasses. But you didn’t.”
“No. I didn’t date anyone.”
“Because you didn’t want to get hurt?”
I thought about that. Was that why I’d withdrawn? I’d never craved human companionship in the way most people seemed to. My sister had insisted I learn to socialize with others and she’d always put a lot of effort into keeping me an active member of society. But my natural tendency had never been to seek out relationships with members of the opposite sex.
Until George.
“Yes, but that’s another oversimplification. It wasn’t just a desire to avoid emotional pain. I learned from my dating experiences that I’m not like other women. I don’t have whatever it is that makes them want to connect with a mate and bond with them. I don’t know how to form a pair-bond, Cassidy.”
“I’m reading between the lines a little bit here, so correct me if I’m wrong,” Cassidy said. “But after you slept with George, did you assume he’d break up with you, so you walked out on him first?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
“June, you are the most straightforward, no-bullshit person I know. Don’t give me thatin a manner of speakingcrap. Did you leave because you thought you needed to break up with him before he could break up with you, or not?”
“Yes. That’s what I did.”
The tears came now, as if I had no control over my emotions. Cassidy wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. I allowed it. In fact, I welcomed it. The solace of my sister’s arms as I cried was extremely comforting.
“You can fix this, you know,” Cassidy said when I’d stopped sobbing.
“No, I can’t.”
She pulled away and pushed my now-messy hair back from my face. “Of course you can. Just go talk to him.”
“I can’t fix what I am, Cassidy. He’s passionate and full of emotion. He needs someone who can nurture that. Not a June Bot.”
“You stop that right now,” she said. “You’re not a robot, and fuck Misty Lynn forever for calling you that. Fuck anyone who’s ever said it.”
“They’re right,” I said. “You just don’t see it because you’re my sister.”
“No, I see that she’s wrong because I’m your sister. Because I know you. You’re not emotionless. You just don’t know how to process what you’re feeling. Hell, most people don’t know how to process what they’re feeling, they’re just not as logical about it as you are.”
“Regardless, the root of the problem isn’t fixable.” The tears started to build again. “I don’t know how to be what he needs. And he deserves better than that.”
Cassidy sighed. “I’m telling you, right here, right now, that you’re wrong. But if you don’t believe me, at least consider this. Maybe he should get to make that call. Why do you get to decide what he deserves? You wouldn’t want someone making that decision for you.”
I leaned back against the couch. I was essentially pouting at this point, which was very unlike me. But it was easier if I shut George out and hid behind my shortcomings. A lot easier than facing them. But Cassidy had always made me face my shortcomings head-on.
“Maybe.”
“Well that’s something. I’ll take it for now.” She patted my knee and turned toward the kitchen. “Hey Mama, we have ourselves a situation out here. One that’s going to require some special treatment.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“It means we’re getting you drunk tonight, Juney. That’s what.”
23
George
My phone buzzing on my nightstand woke me with a start. I sucked in a quick breath and grabbed it. It was Gibson. Why in the hell was Gibson Bodine texting me in the middle of the night? It was one in the damn morning.
Gibson: you might want to come down to the Lookout
Me: what’s going on?
