Page 31 of Forever Never
But he had one more thing to say. One more question to ask.
“Fourth and final,” he said.
“Oh, come on, dude. I’m tired.” She tried to slip out from under his arm, but he merely pinned her to his side as they walked along the cottage’s hedgerow.
“How did I hurt you?” he asked.
She sighed. “Does it even matter?”
“Look. About Audrey—”
“It was before that,” she snapped. She reached for the gate, but he wasn’t done yet. He closed a hand over hers.
“Was this because of that day…after you graduated? That was a mistake.”
“Christ. You think I’m carrying a grudge because a guy is either too dense to be attracted to me or, worse, too much of a chickenshit to act on it? Real nice, Brick.”
“Then fucking tell me,” he demanded, choosing to ignore the chickenshit dig. He needed to know.How could he fix it if he didn’t know what it was?
She looked down at their feet, then up at the night sky where shimmers of the northern lights were visible, a ghostly green against the midnight blue. “You left me. Without even saying good-bye. You just abandoned me.”
Cold crept into his chest and took up residence. He blew out a breath trying to dislodge the iciness. “Inevermeant to hurt you. Not then.”
He’dhadto go. There was no choice. Staying on the island with a warm, willing, of-age Remi would have taken a level of willpower he hadn’t possessed.
She looked up at him, green eyes stormy. A clench in her delicate jaw. “You forget, Brick. We used to know each other really well. We used to be close. So yeah. You meant to hurt me when you left. We both know it.”
She yanked the gate open, but he didn’t let her pass. He blocked her with his body, keeping her against the hedgerow that whispered in the wind. They weren’t touching except for their hands on the gate, but he felt stripped naked standing this close to her.
“Remi.”
He didn’t know what to say besides her name. She’d tossed the truth of it in his face. On some level, he’d wanted her to hurt the way he did. It was selfish and cruel, and he’d thought the pathetic slight would roll off her like everything always had.
Now, knowing she’d been carrying that hurt with her made him feel like a fucking worm.
“I’m sorry.”Good god. He’d apologized more times tonight than he had in the last five years.
She closed her eyes, appearing suddenly weary. “Look. I didn’t come back here to be besties. We both know we’re better off with distance between us. So let’s just move past all of whatever this is or was.”
But he wasn’t ready to move past it. “When you saw me at Doud’s—” he began.
She’d walked into his arms like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“I was caught off guard. It was reflex.”
“You came to me because you’re scared. Because you know I can help you. I can see something’s wrong. Your lights stay on all night. You used to eat like a long-haul trucker at a diner, now you just push food around your plate. What’s got you so rattled, Remi?”
“Stop.” She slapped a hand to his chest, and before he could stop himself, he leaned into it. Her head tipped back to look up at him. He hated how much he loved that.
“Talk to me,” he insisted, his voice hoarse.
She looked down at the hand on his chest. The point of contact he was pressing into until he nudged her chin up, forcing her to look at him again.
Her eyes shimmered under the dim light of streetlights and stars. “You lost the right to hear my confidences a long time ago. Let’s leave it that way. It’s safer for both of us.”
“You know I’m not going to accept that,” he warned.
Her lips curved in a sad smile. “I know,” she admitted. “But you can’t fix this one. Hell. I’m not sure I can.”
