Page 81 of Things We Hide from the Light
Her hands planted on my shoulders and stayed there. Not pushing. Not pulling.
It was an intimate position. And I wantedmoreas my blood went from warm to simmering in a heartbeat.
“Look, I know it’s not fair to ask you. To make you responsible for this piece of my well-being. But I’m desperate. I need you, Angelina.”
“Why do you call me Angelina?”
I gave her hips a squeeze. “It’s your name.”
“I know that. But no one calls me Angelina.”
“It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful, complicated woman.”
“You’re quite the charmer. I’ll give you that. Flowers. Dinner. Sweetness. But how long are we going to play this game?”
“Baby, it’s not a game to me. This is my life. You are the only thing in my entire existence that makes me feel like I’ve got a shot at finding my way back. I don’t understand it. And frankly I don’t need to. All I know is I feel better when I’m touching you. When I woke up this morning, I didn’t feel like a ghost or a shadow. I feltgood.”
“I felt…uh…good too,” she confessed, not quite meeting my eyes. “But we’re playing with fire here. I mean, sooner or later, you’re going to get overly attached and I’ll have to destroy yourfragile man heart. Not to mention the fact that we basically woke up dry humping.”
I grinned. “That’s why I brought pants. With a drawstring.”
“This is not the kind of peer pressure TV movies prepared me for. ‘Hey, Lina. Sleep snuggle with me so I can feel alive again,’” she said, faking a deep baritone.
I gave her hips another squeeze and pulled her an inch closer to me. “‘There’s nothing I’d rather do than go to bed and not have sex with you, Nash,’” I said in a breathy, Marilyn Monroe imitation.
She blew out an aggrieved sigh. “It’s annoying how cute you are.”
“Annoying enough that you’re gonna let me sleep with you tonight?”
She squeezed my shoulders and brought her forehead to mine. “I’m really trying to make better decisions, but you are not making that easy.”
I gave in to temptation and kissed her nose.
“Ugh. You’re impossible!” she complained.
“What was wrong with your previous decisions?”
She bit her lip.
“Need I remind you that I’ve been disgustingly vulnerable with you for, what, forty-eight hours now? I just spent twenty minutes tellin’ you all about my day. It’s your turn. Give and take. Talk, Angel.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like sharing. Especially not when I don’t come out looking good.”
“I repeat. Fetal position at the foot of the stairs.”
“I was leading a team during an operation. We had to make a quick, unplanned exit off a roof when our thief came home early. I didn’t know the guy I was with was afraid of heights. I made the jump and landed in the canal. When I looked back, he was stillstanding there frozen. I yelled, and he panicked and landed on his ass on the hood of a car.”
“Ouch,” I said, deciding I didn’t need to know exactly what danger required an escape by roof.
“He broke his tailbone, so he was lucky. But I should have known better. At the very least, I shouldn’t have forced him to take the risk.”
Her fingers traced tiny circles on my chest.
“The thing is, there are rewards for doing my job well. Bonuses, status, the thrill of the chase. Being the hero and bringing home the win. In my company, aggressive tactics are praised. I got a bonus and Lewis got a busted ass. I realized that as good as I am, sometimes it just comes down to luck. And I don’t want to count on that forever.”
“Minus the money part, I get that.” It galled me that I was here in this kitchen because of luck.
“It’s more heroic to be a hero for something other than a big, fat paycheck,” she said.
