Page 214 of Things We Left Behind
“So you protected me by keeping our friendship a secret. And you continued to protect me by pushing me away. I was just some crazy, nosy neighbor girl.”
“He would have found a way to hurt you. Hedidfind a way to hurt you.”
“He’s gone now, Lucian. He’s dead. What’s your excuse now?”
“I don’t know where this narrative is coming from, but you’re embarrassing yourself. I don’t love you,” he insisted.
His tone was even and chilly, his face stony. But I could see the truth, the yearning in his eyes.
“Are you sure that’s the answer you want to stick with?” I whispered.
“I don’t love you,” he insisted stubbornly.
I let out a shaky breath. “After all those years, all the things we’ve been through together, you still can’t even be honest with me.”
“I’m being honest,” he said, not quite meeting my eyes.
“You love me,” I repeated. Twin tears escaped, sliding hotly down my cheeks. “You love me, and yet you’re content to never try. That’s not sad. That’s pathetic.”
“You need to leave, Sloane,” he said sharply.
My heart felt like it had been tossed into a wood chipper. Everything hurt.
“I will.” I headed for the door and then stopped. “I’ll never be able to repay you for those last months with my father.”
“I don’t want you to repay me,” he muttered, shoving a hand through his hair. “You can’t come here again. It’s not safe.”
“Fine. But you can’t give me anything again. No more secret donations. No more keeping an eye on me. Thank you for your baffling generosity, but understand this. I can’t accept anything else from you. Ever.”
“Why?”
“Because, after all this, I think we both deserve a clean break.”
He was still a long moment as his eyes roamed my face, looking for something that he wasn’t going to find. “There was never going to be an us, Sloane. He made sure of that.”
I shook my head. “Your father is dead, Lucian. You’re the one who made sure there would never be an us.”
I headed for the door again, hoping to hold it together long enough to get out of the office. Two burly security guys were waiting for me in the hall. I paused in the doorway and turned around one last time. “I loved you. You know? When we were kids, I loved you. And I think I could have again.”
His eyes went stormy, but he stayed where he was and said absolutely nothing.
“By the way,” I continued. “Just because you’re done with me doesn’t mean you get to dump my mother too. She misses you, so pick up your goddamn phone and call her.”
“That’s not a good idea right now,” he hedged.
“Take her to lunch or dinner or whatever the hell you two do, and do it now or I will find new and creative ways to torture you for hurting her when she’s already grieving. Do not abandon my mother.”
“This a good time, boss?” Nolan said, strolling between the two guards. He looked up from the fat file in his hands. “Nope. Never mind. Very not good time. Good to see you, Blondie.”
36
Too Many Whammies
Sloane
Your podcast interview about Mary Louise is getting a lot of hits.”
“Really?” I asked, stirring my ice cream in a clockwise motion.
