Page 120 of Story of My Life
We broke apart, looking as innocent as three pissed-off grown men could.
“What are you doing here, Dad?” Gage asked.
“Your mom sprung me from the store so I could do some supervising here. Looks like it was good timing too,” he said.
“We were just taking a break,” I said.
“Looks like you were just gettin’ ready to take some swings at each other. What’s going on?” Dad asked, crossing his arms.
We were all taller than him, bigger and stronger too. But we still had a healthy fear of disappointing him.
“Just havin’ a few words,” Levi said.
“About what?”
“Stock market,” we lied in unison.
If there was one thing that pissed off and confused my dad more than when his adult children acted like they were still in junior high, it was the stock market.
“For Pete’s sake. It’s all made up. You can’t grow a stock or build one and hold it in your hand. All those fake numbers represent what? Pretend shit. I’m telling you, you’re better off burying your money in the backyard,” Dad said predictably.
He’d expressed the sentiment so often that we’d once spent a drunken Easter in our twenties digging up our parents’ backyard to look for Dad’s buried treasure. It had been Laura’s idea. Being pregnant and therefore not drunk, she’d tricked us into it and laughed herself half to death when Mom lit into us the next morning.
“That’s what I was just telling these two,” Gage lied.
“What’ve we got here?” Dad said as a box truck pulled up to the curb.
“Furniture delivery for Hazel Hart,” the driver said through the open passenger window.
“We’ll clear the driveway for you,” Dad offered, heading for his truck.
“Ass-kisser,” I hissed under my breath as I elbowed Gage in the gut.
“Moron,” he wheezed and shoved me backward into a bush.
“I’ll go tell Hazel,” Levi volunteered and all but sprinted for the house before I could even crawl out of the shrubbery.
27
A LEGALLY BINDING SEX PACT
CAMPBELL
Guys are idiots,”my niece announced as she climbed into the passenger seat and slammed the door. I was on Thursday evening carpool duty, picking up Isla from her first student council meeting of the school year while Laura attended Wes’s away game.
Melvin shoved his head between the seats and gave her face a slurp.
“Gross.” But she gave the dog an affectionate squeeze anyway.
“Who is he, and where can I find him?” I demanded, reaching for my seat belt. The high school wasn’t that big. I could hunt down the teenage idiot in question in no time.
Isla’s lips quirked. “You can’t go beat up a teenage boy even if he is an idiot, Uncle Cam.”
“No, but I can scare the shit out of him. Make him change schools. Assume a new identity. Make him wear a fake nose and glasses for the rest of his life.”
Her smile was fleeting. “I thought he liked me. He’s been flirting with me all summer. Teasing me, playing dumb little pranks. And then today he goes and asks Alice to homecoming.”
“That sucks,” I said, putting the truck in drive.
