Page 213 of Story of My Life
“Oh, God. Are they here already?” I vaulted to my feet and shucked the T-shirt over my head, hurling it into the corner of the room like it was full of scorpions.
“Gage and Levi are in the driveway ‘coordinating,’ which I think is code for letting me check to make sure you’re not going to murder them if they come inside. Also, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you are not wearing a bra.”
I clapped my hands to my breasts. “Shit! Sorry, Sunita.”
Sunita shrugged. “In my line of work, I’ve seen a lot of boobs. I’m a professional.”
“Where’s…Cam?” I congratulated myself on not raising both middle fingers or curling into a ball at having to utter his name.
“According to Gage, he’s visiting another jobsite today,” Zoey said.
My hands tightened on my boobs. A likely story.
“If my ex-whatever-he-was isn’t here, why are you dragging me out of bed? And why is Sunita here? No offense.”
“None taken,” Sunita said.
“We’re here to create the illusion of a gorgeous, functioning adult who is unbothered by Campbell Bishop and his fuckery,” Zoey explained.
“That sounds like a lot of work,” I said.
“Not to freak anyone out or anything, but there’s a raccoon in your hall and it looks annoyed.” Sunita pointed toward the door.
“Goddammit, Bertha,” Zoey yelled.
“She’s fine. I’m probably more feral than she is at this point,” I explained.
“Well, just to be on the safe side…” Sunita said, closing the bedroom door before crossing to the bed. She upended the shopping bag on the mattress. “See, we like to think that men don’t gossip. That they communicate primarily in a series of grunts. But they do talk. And do you want Gage and Levi reporting back to Cam that they had to work around you being a depressed sack of potatoes? Now, I’m thinking we go with the see-through black lace for a sexy edge.”
“Perfect!” Zoey decided. “I’ll plug in her straightener and find the eyeliner.”
In fifteen minutes,my amateur glam team had me looking like I was ready for a boudoir photo shoot. They propped me up at my desk with my beloved morning Wild Cherry Pepsi, and when we heard the front door open and close, Zoey and Sunita burst into studio audience laughter.
“Ha. Ha. What are we laughing at?” I demanded.
“Just go with it. You’re so unbothered you’re cracking us up with your wit.” Zoey chuckled.
“Yeah, I’m a regular laugh riot,” I said mopily.
That set them off again just in time for tentative footsteps to pause in the hall.
“Oh, Hazel, you kill me,” Sunita said, theatrically dabbing at the corners of her eyes.
Zoey made a show of composing herself, before acknowledging the two nervous-looking Bishops in the doorway. “Gentlemen, so nice to see you. Hazel was just entertaining us with her weekend escapades.”
“Uh, hey,” Gage said.
Levi nodded at me. They both looked like they were ready to bolt at the first hint of danger.
“Hi, guys,” I said, sounding like I was choking on a peanut butter sandwich. Why did there have to be such a strong family resemblance? Also, why did it have to be Cam who I’d gotten sloppy over? Why couldn’t I have mooned over Gage, the good guy, or Levi, the strong silent type?
“Thanks so much for giving us a few minutes, guys. Hazel was just wrapping up a podcast interview,” Zoey lied brightly.
“Yes. A British podcast. Time zones are the reason why it’s so early. That’s why Sunita’s here,” I babbled.
“To help you with the time zones?” Gage asked.
“Yes. I mean, no,” I corrected. “That’s what Google’s for. Ha. Sunita’s here to…make sure I didn’t accidentally slip into a British accent and offend the hosts.”
