Page 32 of Story of My Life
“Let’s not be hasty,” Zoey cut in. “It looks like one good sneeze would send it toppling into the hell mouth beneath it.”
“Don’t forget. You didn’t just buy a house, you bought yourself a seat on the town council,” Darius said, pushing his glasses up his nose.
“Ah, yes.” I still wasn’t quite sure what that entailed. I was more of a hermity introvert, so joining committees and councils was outside my realm of experience. But I bet my heroine would find it pivotal to her character arc.
“See, that’s the part I’m clearly not hearing right,” Cam said.
“AndI’mthe one with the head wound?” I said out of the corner of my mouth to Darius.
“I can see this is an important matter to you, Cam,” Darius said. “And what concerns my constituents, concerns me. Why don’t we take a little stroll around the garden and chat while Ms. Hart explores?”
“You can’t just sell a seat on the council,” Cam said.
Darius gave me a full-wattage smile. “You don’t need to stay here and listen to all the town charter subsection nonsense. You go ahead and explore inside and I’ll catch up with you.” He reached under his cross-country shirt and pulled out a dingy brass key on a chain. “It’s the only one, so don’t lose it.”
Something that felt like the ghost of excitement skittered through my veins as my fingers closed around the metal.
“Come on, Zo,” I called over my shoulder.
“Now, Cam,” Darius began diplomatically as I headed for the arched double front doors painted an unappealing weatheredbrown. “I know you’re familiar with our town charter. But I can understand how some of the longer-winded subsections might have escaped your attention. For instance, pursuant to 13.3 (c), upon the death of a council member, the resident of the deceased member’s choosing can fulfill the obligations of the remainder of their elected term.”
“Yeah?” Cam challenged. “Well, the charter also says that men who haven’t lost their virginity by age twenty-five should be bedded by their closest unrelated neighbor.”
I made a mental note to get my hands on a copy of the town charter as soon as possible. I fit the key into the lock and turned it. The knob turned, but the door didn’t budge.
“Sometimes you have to give it a little muscle,” Darius called.
A little muscle turned out to be a well-placed kick to the bottom-right corner.
With an eerie haunted-house screech, the door swung open on its hinges.
“Oh, boy,” I whispered.
8
NOT A PROFESSIONAL MURDERER
CAMPBELL
You’re tellin’me not only did she buy real estate, but she also gets to sit on the council for the next two years?” I repeated, running through the list of reasons why punching a seventeen-year-old kid who had the enthusiasm of a puppy was a bad idea.
We were standing in the side yard of Heart House, pinned in by sunflowers and chest-height weeds.
“Yep. I ran all this by Gage. Didn’t he tell you?” Darius asked.
“He did not.” At least I could get away with punching my brother.
“Listen, Cam. Campbell’s Soup. The Camenator. This is agoodthing. This is a new tax-paying citizen who’s going to fill that last seat on the councilandfix up the biggest eyesore on Endofthe. And guess who she’s going to ask to help her do that?” Darius pointed finger guns at me. “Bishop Brothers. Being the only game in town has its advantages.”
Darius had never met a half-empty glass or a cloud without a silver lining. His youthful optimism made me want to kick something.
“She hit Goose with her car and destroyed the sign on the way into town. She’s not gonna fit in,” I insisted.
“Firstly, Goose throws himself in the path of a car at least once a week. Secondly, that sign was in dire need of restoration. Thirdly, we don’t need her to fit in. We just need her to stay and pay taxes. And finally, this means we’ve finally got ourselves a town celebrity. Even Dominion doesn’t have that. It’s a win-win-win.”
“Celebrity?” If the kid told me he sold the biggest chunk of Story Lake historic real estate to some kind of admittedly attractive reality TV star, I was going to need a longer list of reasons not to punch him.
“Cam the man, she’stheHazel Hart.”
