Page 136 of Story of My Life
“What did you do to Emilie?” Zoey asked.
“I’ll tell you what we did,” Cam said. “We went to her house. When she answered the door, we went into the laundry room and started punching holes in the new drywall that she said was…” He snapped his fingers at Gage.
“Too smooth,” his brother filled in.
“We ripped out the drywall, unhooked her washer that she said was too loud?—”
“Which had nothing to do with us,” Levi added.
“Then we picked up her brand-new dryer, carried it back outside to her driveway, and left it exactly where the delivery guys had left it after she berated them for being ten minutes early,” Cam continued. “Then Gage threw a refund check in her face.”
“Minus the undoing expenses, which just so happened to almost total the cost of the job,” Gage explained with an impish grin.
“You,” Zoey said, pointing at him. “I like everything you just said.”
“You can’t just go around getting revenge on people who wrong you,” I said.
“Yeah, we can,” they said in unison.
“Her husband came home in the middle of it. We gave him the option of gettin’ his ass kicked, gettin’ his ass sued, or both,” Cam said as if it were the most logical thing in the world.
“To be clear, this happened about twenty-four hours after Emilie threw a temper tantrum about Livvy here gettin’ to the cashier line first at the gas station and being their one hundredth customer for the month.”
“Got free gas and hot dogs for a month,” Levi explained.
“You bully here, you get bullied right back,” Gage said with pride.
“Well, as ‘fun’ as that sounds, that’s not the way it works in my business,” I said. “We’re more civilized.”
Gage waved Zoey’s phone. “This ain’t civilized.”
Levi smirked. “Wait till Mom hears about this.”
“Nobody needs to tell anyone’s mother anything,” I said, desperately trying to force sense into the other supposed adults in the room. “It’s my problem, and I’ll take care of this the way I see fit.”
“Please don’t say by taking the high road,” Zoey whispered under her breath.
“You sayhigh road,and I’m gettin’ my keys,” Cam announced.
I rolled my eyes. “Zoey.”
“Yes, my liege?”
“We’re taking the not low road and ignoring him,” I insisted.
Jim:Hope you don’t mind, I name-dropped you in an interview to give you a little boost. You can thank me later. How’s the writing? Almost done?
31
A POOP PROBLEM
HAZEL
With a headfull of revenge fantasies and a house full of vengeful men, I got very little writing done the rest of the day. Rather than trying to force the words, I threw in the towel and took out my frustrations on the front yard, clearing a swath of debris from the overgrown landscaping.
I kept at it until everyone left. Cam’s disgruntled gaze carried actual weight as he headed for his truck. But his brothers talked him into stopping by their parents’ farm to do something to a pasture fence. I waited until the driveway and street were clear before taking five on the porch in my new rocking chair.
I waved to a few neighbors, guzzled a glass of water, and then hit the only shower left standing in the house. Hair, makeup, and wardrobe were tricky when factoring in the bike ride to the council dinner. With any luck, I could talk a sexy, grumpy contractor into driving me home afterward and then taking off both our clothes.
