Page 200 of Story of My Life
Hazel stormed across the dock planks and pulled up mere inches from Nina.
I sighed. “Shit. She’s doing the finger-pointing thing.”
“At least she’s not stabbing that woman with them,” Zoey said, shading her eyes from the sun. “Her fingers are freakishly strong.”
Nina slapped Hazel’s hand away. From the snooty expression on her face, I was willing to bet money she’d just delivered one of her famously snobby zingers. But Hazel just threw back her head and laughed.
“And now she’s laughing at the bad guy,” Zoey commentated. “This isn’t bad. Usually she just vapor locks up and goes home and spends the next two days writing down killer insults that she wished she thought of on the spot.”
“No one steals from Story Lake, you insufferable shit waffle!” Hazel shouted loud enough for everyone in the park to turn and watch what happened next.
Nina, clearly not used to being called hilarious insults, gave Hazel a two-handed shove.
“Oh, like hell she did,” Zoey snarled. “That shit waffle has worn out her welcome.”
But I was already on my way. Unfortunately, I was too late.
Hazel regained her balance and shoved Nina back…right off the dock and into the water.
“Woo!” Zoey whooped, applauding as she ran behind me.
“Ah, hell,” Gage muttered.
Nina surfaced sputtering. Her hair hung like a wet curtain over her face. Her white sundress was covered in lake mud. “Howdareyou!” she screeched.
At least that’s what I thought she said. It was a little hard to hear her over the chanting that was building throughout the park.
“Hazel! Hazel! Hazel!”
The woman in question met me at the foot of the dock, looking flushed and triumphant. “If you’re here to lecture me, I’d save it. I feel like a real-life heroine right now,” she said.
“Youarea real-life heroine,” I said and grabbed her by the front of her shirt. “Myheroine.”
I kissed her. Hard. Which seemed to raise the volume on the cheers. By the time I pulled back, I was already rearranging the evening’s schedule of nudity and Darius was throwing flotation devices off the dock at the still-shrieking Nina.
“I’ll sue you and this entire goddamn town!” she screamed until she was forced to spit out lake water.
Hazel winced. “I think I got a little too you-y out there.”
“No such thing. Everyone should be more me-y,” I insisted, grinning at Gage and Levi when they joined us on the dock.
“We can’t afford a sewage plant, let alone a lawsuit,” Hazel complained.
“I’m going to take your home, your shoes, your stupid fucking car, and then I’m going to take apart this town piece by piece,” Nina howled as Gator, the reluctant gentleman, helped her out of the water. She was missing one of her fancy sandals and looked like she’d gone ten rounds with an automatic car wash and lost.
Gage scoffed. “As Ms. Hart’s attorney, I must request that all frivolous lawsuits be run through your attorneys.”
“Fuck you, Gage! I’ll have your whole damn family arrested!”
“As Story Lake’s chief of police, I’m gonna have to ask you to refrain from swearing in public, seein’ as how it’s illegal for a woman to do so within town limits between the hours of two p.m. and seven p.m.,” Levi said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You’re all a bunch of backwoods hicks who don’t deserve to share a boundary with Dominion. You should be kissing our boots and begging us to take your worthless little town off your hands!”
The booing started. Nina wisely took that as a sign to limp and slosh her way to the parking lot.
We watched her march up to Emilie Rump’s car and gesture for Emilie to open the door. “Interesting,” I noted.
“Very,” Gage said.
