Page 84 of Preying Heart
His lips press together and he nods. “Okay then. Guess we can’t have sex tonight.”
I roll off the bed, relieved that at least his plans for a reunion are foiled.
“We can do it now.” He grabs me by the hair and tosses me onto the bed.
Fire screams on my scalp. At the same time, he slams his knee into my belly. My stomach heaves from the shock. Bile and whatever’s left in my stomach spew from between my lips, splattering Gavin’s face. He slaps me, sending my head spinning, but blessedly, he thunders from my apartment.
The slamming door is like a nail in my heart, but it hardens me and I know what I must do. Once my head stops spinning, I notice he’s left the picture of my mother on the bed.
I shower, get dressed, and pile makeup over my bruised face. I put on my jewelry and my diamond-studded Rolex, and I fill my purse with my bank and credit cards. I hail a rideshare and clean out my bank accounts. They give me cash, no questions asked. I buy myself a new smartphone, and I pack light.
If Gavin has men watching, they haven’t stopped me yet.
He was probably bluffing. He thinks he has me cowed, and I’d dutifully do as I’m told.
He doesn’t know the new me.
I call another rideshare, and it drops me off at Gavin’s mansion.
I ring the doorbell, and a maid answers the door. She raises her eyebrow but waits for me to speak.
“Remi Bruckner here to see Mrs. Claudia Greasley.”
Heath
The whiskey burns bitter down my throat. I throw the bottle against the brick fireplace. It shatters, startling Glock who jumps from his bed and slinks off to find Lucy.
In my drunken state, I collapse onto the sofa with a deep heaviness. I will not cry, and I refuse to weep. No tears for me. This is all on me. Not her.
I ball up Remi’s letter but I have to read it again. And again. Each time stabbing myself in the heart afresh. Each time, shrinking into a hard, dark pit.
I don’t get it. I thought I brought her out of her darkness. I thought opening myself to her would earn her trust. That she would want me by her side, through good and bad, through sickness and health, throughout all the years of our lives. No matter what. But it’s not what she wants. She’s bailing as fast as she can.
I should not have hoped. Shouldn’t have opened myself. What had gotten into me to think “this time it’ll be different”?
My eyes blur as I go over it again. I just don’t understand.
Dear Heath, These are the hardest words I’ve ever had to write. Please don’t take it wrong. I have to go home for Slade. He’s in trouble again. It’s really bad and not his fault. Gavin is framing him with the most awful and heinous crime of pedophilia. He has Slade imprisoned. He’s waiting for me to make him an offer. Only I can free Slade. I know what Gavin wants, and unfortunately, it’s me. Entirely subservient and complying with his will. But do not worry. After I extricate Slade, I’m going to take Gavin down. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I will.
Please don’t come after me. Don’t interfere. I know what I’m doing, and I don’t want you involved. Gavin is dangerous. Slade suspects he killed his father. He says bad stuff is going down.
I know you’re probably thinking you’ll just as well show up in Seattle and take care of things for me, but I don’t want you to come. Knowing you, I’m going to have to tell you that if you interfere, you’ll never see me again. You don’t understand what I have to do, and you’ll disapprove. But I’m not weakening. I’m not afraid. I may be acting like I’ve gone back, but the me deep inside will never comply. I will resist tyranny. My spirit will be free even if I’m chained.
I believe in you, Heath. I believe everything you did for me and every action you showed me. I believe you love me, even as I’m about to hurt you. It’s not my intention, but I can’t give you what you wish for. I’m grateful for your sacrifice. I will never forget any of the things we did, the places we went, the moments we had. But after what I have to do, I will no longer be fit for normal life. I will no longer be me. I will not be any good for you or to you. I won’t belong to this world or to anything good or precious or honest or pure or lovely. There will be nothing left to give. My heart will be as black as Gavin’s. I will go down fighting. And I would willingly be ruined to see his ruin.
I guess this is long enough, and I’m sorry. So very sorry. I am unable to say the words you want to hear. To be the woman you need me to be. I’m sorry to disappoint you. I’m leaving now. It’s not a goodbye, because there’s nothing good. There’s only the bye.
Remi
Lucy stands over me with an ice pack for my hand. I pounded the stone wall so hard I bruised my knuckles. She wears a disapproving look as she rips the letter from my grasp.
“Stop reading it and do something about it.”
“She doesn’t want me to show up in Seattle.” I moan as the pain shoots through my hand. “She says I’ll never see her again if I do.”
“Since when do you do what anyone says? Since when do you bend to threats?”
I snap at her. “Didn’t I just rescue you from those thugs?”
