Page 7 of Hide My Heart
He winces and shakes his head. “I won’t tell her. How long are you staying?”
“I don’t know. However long Grandma lives.” I gulp at the big lump in my throat. “How bad is it? Have you heard?”
“She’s not getting any more treatments. Just hospice care.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I can watch your little guy while you visit with your family.”
“You would?” This is part of the plan. He’s making it easy. Except I need more than him watching Beck.
“Anything you need. I’ve got your back.” He steadies me with a firm hand on my shoulder, and my head swims with yearnings and thoughts of being wrapped in his arms, resting my face on his chest, safe and protected.
“Do you know how to take care of a baby?” I’m wary now that he accepted so easily. “Do you have children? A wife or girlfriend who can help?”
His thin lips curl with a smirk. “Is that your way of finding out if I’m available?”
My face must be beet red even as my heart flutters and flails. I’m hoping he’s teasing, that he doesn’t have anyone.
Beck whines and squirms, breaking out into an urgent hiccupping cry. “I have to feed him. Pass me a towel?”
Nate yanks one from the rack and hands it to me. “I can’t believe you have a baby.”
Beck is in a frenzy. His face reddens, and his arms and legs flail, grasping and seeking. Collapsing onto the bed, I drape a towel over my shoulder while tucking Beck under my shirt. He latches on with a fury reserved only for starving babies.
I peek at Nate from under my unruly bangs. He’s staring at the picture on the wall, one of those generic western landscapes with cowboys riding through the brush herding cattle.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asks.
“Not yet. I have so much to tell you.”And a big favor to ask.
Nate keeps his distance, circling as if Beck’s a creature from outer space. I’m wagering he’s never seen a mother nurse a baby. Any hint of flirtation has already evaporated with Beck’s suckling and grunting noises.
“He’s a healthy little guy, isn’t he?” Nate comments.
“He’s quite a handful. Eats a lot. I’ll need to store up some milk in bottles when I take him to the babysitter.”
“Babysitter?” Nate takes a deep breath, pulls on the legs of his jeans, and perches on the edge of the bed. “I thought I volunteered. My mom can help.”
“She won’t, unless she thinks he’syourbaby.”There, I said it.
“My baby?” Nate gapes at me, his mouth elongated, jaw crashing to the floor.
“It’ll only be for a little while. I’ll pick him up when I leave. You’re the only one I trust. I know it’s asking a lot, but you’re my only friend.”
He points at me and then himself, his head shaking. “How’s my mom going to believe we have a baby together?”
“Not me and you. You and some other girl.”
“Which girl?”
Ow! Beck clamps his gums over my nipple and lets out a loud yowl. I tuck a finger to dislodge him from my depleted right breast and pass him to the left.
“Any girl. Please? It’s the only way.”
Nate rubs his chin and hunches his shoulders. “I suppose, except what am I going to tell my girlfriend?”
My lungs deflate, and my heart drops to my knees. He has a girlfriend. I should have known. Of course, he would. Why would I even think he’d wait for me? Or that I even have a claim on him?
“I shouldn’t have come back.” I’m at the edge of tears, barely holding myself together. This reunion has turned into a disaster. Somehow, I’d spun this fantasy where he’d gladly help me, just like the other times he helped me get away from my parents for walks in the woods or lying in the meadow looking at clouds and stars. Obviously, we’ve both grown up.
“You have to see your grandmother,” Nate says, drawing me back to his presence. “Why can’t you tell them about Beck? I’m sure they’ll love him.”
