Page 71 of The Hot Shot
Okay, not what I was expecting. And not something I want to hear about, but I don’t say a word.
“It wasn’t even one night,” he goes on. “We fucked in a bathroom and then went back out to enjoy the rest of the party.”
Well, that’s classy.
“Yeah, I know,” he says as if I’ve spoken out loud. “I was high on an important game win and here was this supermodel begging to suck my—” He clears his throat. “Four months after that, Britt shows up at my door.”
“Please tell me you recognized her,” I blurt out unkindly.Damn it.
Finn shoots me a repressive look that I absolutely earned. “Yes. But I’ll be honest, I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see her. Sex with Britt had been kind of... bland.”
Only Finn would tell me sex in a bathroom with a supermodel had been bland. He swallows hard and stares out over the river. “She was pregnant, Chess.”
I stumble on a crack, and he tightens his grip on my hand to steady me. “What?” I croak.
Finn’s jaw bunches. “From high school out, they warn us about knocking women up. Never believe them when they say they’re on the pill. Always wear a condom. Today’s screw can be tomorrow’s screwup.”
“Lovely.”
“But true,” he says with a shrug. “I wore the condom. And I wasn’t so naive that I didn’t ask for a paternity test. Britt agreed. She didn’t want money. She has more than enough of her own. She just wanted me to know because it was the right thing to do.”
I suddenly feel small and petty for being jealous of the woman.
Finn lets go of me and shoves his fists into his pockets as we slowly walk along. “Tests came back. I was the father.”
“How...? I never heard a word of this in the press. And James watchesSportsCenterreligiously.”
“We kept it quiet and were fortunate that there were no leaks. Jake is the only friend on my side who knows. Well, him and my family. They know, too.”
He draws in a deep breath. “Anyway, I manned up, offered to marry her—”
My stomach turns with a violent lurch. If he’s married...
“But Britt said no.”
Relief and panic war within my chest.He could have been married. I’d have never known him this way.
“We hammered out how to handle custody, things like that...” He trails off and stares down at his shoes as we walk.
“So, you have a child.” I can do the math. The idea that a little Finn offspring is somewhere out there stuns me. God. A father.
“Five months in,” he croaks, “Britt miscarried.”
“Oh, Finn.”
He stands hunched against the wind, his expression blank. I touch his arm and find it vibrating with tension.
“I’m so sorry, Finn.”
His nod is vague, the barest lift of his chin. “We’d just found out she was a girl, you know?”
My fingers curl around his arm. “Finn...”
He takes a deep breath as if he’s sucking all his pain backinto himself, and his shoulders straighten. When he looks up, his jaw is hard and set. “The whole time Britt was pregnant, I told myself that this is what real men do. They take care of their mistakes.” He snorts, a broken sound. “That’s what I thought of my baby as, Chess. A mistake. My baby girl.”
His eyes well, and I can’t stand still anymore. I step into his space and hug him tight. He instantly hugs me back, squeezing with enough force to bruise, his face burrowed in my hair. For long moments, he shudders, fighting for control, while I press my palm to his back and coo nonsensical noises under my breath.
His rough voice is close to my ear. “I didn’t even know how much I wanted her until I saw her in that sonogram.” Another tremor slams through him. “But there she was, ten fingers and ten toes, flailing around like she was running in place, and I wanted her. I wanted her and then she was gone.”
