Page 52 of The Making of Jonty Bloom
“Hmm. So you both lied.”
Devan frowned. “Why would you say that?”
“It was a guess, but I’m assuming you wouldn’t want anyone to know what you’d discovered and if you’d spoken out, what would that have done to your family? Better to make up some story about realising just in time that it wasn’t going to work, not going into too much detail. Though I’m guessing that’s turned out to be a mistake.”
“Last Monday,my brother, Griff, told me he wants me to be his best man when he marries Ravi in December.”
“He what?” Jonty gaped at him. “Is he mad?”
“He’s…not thinking clearly.”
“Does anyone know the real reason why the wedding was called off?”
“My father knows, but I’ve only just told him. Ravi, Griff and I agreed it was better that no one knew the truth. Ravi was at fault, and Griff, but I would have looked a fool. People would have been sympathetic, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I went quiet. I hid in a dark place and thought time would help.”
“An actual dark place or in your head?”
“In my head. I imagined I’d rather be despised than pitied, but I found myself resenting that I appeared to be the guilty party. Ravi was in tears all over Instagram and Facebook. He’s very good at appearing distraught. Now I’ve found out that for the last few months, and most likely from the day I discovered them, my brother and Ravi have had a relationship. I had even more reason to be pissed off with my brother than I’d thought.”
“And you haven’t put people right about what really happened?”
“No. And now I feel I can’t say anything. Not if Griff is marrying him.”
“That is so fucking unfair. Do you and your brother get on?Didyou get on?”
“We were close when we were younger.” Almost inseparable. “We work for the same company. I got him the job. I thought he was my best friend. I’d asked him to be my best man along with my other brother. And because my mother doesn’t know the truth about why the wedding was called off, she can’t understand why I don’t want to stand next to my brother when he marries Ravi.”
Devan was amazed how much better he felt telling this to Jonty. “Griff has always been the golden boy. He gets what he wants, but not this time.”He fucking won’t, because I’d rather die.
“I’d buy them something really meaningful as a wedding present. Like an emergency survival kit or towels with the names Satan and Beelzebub embroidered on them, or an experience gift for something neither of them would like to do such as a napkin folding course, or dry-stone walling for beginners, or a day handling venomous snakes.”
Devan chuckled.
“How long had you and Ravi been going out?”
“Two years.”
“Wow.”
“Once I’d seen him with Griff, all I could think about was whether he’d been faithful during that time. Did I know him at all? Why wasn’t I enough for him? What does my brother have that I don’t? Why would he hurt me like that? I feel… angry. So fucking angry. All the fucking time.”
“Ouch.”
Devan let go of Jonty’s hand. “Sorry. The crazy thing is, that as far as Ravi is concerned, it’s not so much the infidelity that got to me, but the look on his face when Griff was fucking him. I thought I knew him and I didn’t know him at all. I honestly believed that I’d get my head straight and move on, that I could tuck it all away, keep how I felt locked up. For five months that was what I did. Wore a mask, because it hurt too much to let it all up to the surface. I stopped feeling angry. I was more upset that Griff had been Ravi’s partner. My own fucking brother. The one who worshipped me. Now I’m angry again. And…I can’t believe I’ve told you any of that.”
Jonty put his hand on Devan’s arm and slid it down to his hand to let their fingers entwine. “It’s not a surprise you’re angry with everyone, including yourself. Angry with the choice you made to keep quiet. Angry with your brother for his insensitivity. Angry with Ravi for cheating. Angry with yourself for not seeing what you think you should have seen. But more than angry, you’re sad because you’ve been hurt.”
“Humiliated.”
“But you said people don’t know the truth.”
“I have no idea what people know anymore, but when your brother is going to marry your ex, I think people might guess what happened.”
“Hurt still fits better than humiliated.”
“Mike told me you’d been hurt too.”
Jonty gave a short laugh. “Was he warning you off?”
