Page 65 of The Making of Jonty Bloom
“You mean do I want to show you my fabulous penthouse flat with bespoke furniture and panoramic sea views? Why yes, I do.” Jonty moved aside. “Watch out for the bike. I’ll lead the way in case you get lost. But close the door and make sure it’s secure.”
Devan followed him upstairs. Jonty was wearing faded denims that sat low on his hips and a tight-fitting blue T-shirt. Devan couldn’t tear his gaze from Jonty’s arse.
“Oh my God.” Jonty gasped as he opened the door at the top of the stairs. “What’s happened to my flat? It’s…shrunk. I swear it was four times bigger than this. Where’s all my furniture gone? Why can I only see a pub out of the window? Where’s the sea gone?”
Devan laughed.
“Want a coffee or…a coffee? Oh God, I have no sugar. I’m a complete failure as a host.”
“I’m fine.” Devan walked over to the wall opposite Jonty’s TV to look at a picture of a whale made from pieces of sea glass. “This is fantastic. Did you make it?”
“Technically, the sea did the hard work. I just used glue.”
Devan turned in a circle. There was a picture of three gulls made from more glass and small pieces of driftwood, and a free-standing seahorse constructed from green and white glass fragments. Whichever way he turned, there was something to see. A Christmas tree, a lighthouse, two seals, a dragon.
“Do you sell your stuff?”
Jonty shook his head. “I can’t bear to part with them once they’re done. They cheer me up. You want to sit down and we can discuss what you’d like to do? I made a list.” Jonty handed him three sheets of paper that had been sellotaped together. “There’s only fifty items. Sorry. I ran out of time. I wanted to give you a choice of fifty-one. I’m disappointed in myself.”
Devan sat on the couch, looked at the list and laughed. “A driving tour covering more than seventy Northumberland castle sites. But no stopping or we’ll run out of time. Play knight and dragon at Dunstanburgh Castle. Jonty gets to be the dragon and the knight is allowed to stab him with his mighty sword, repeatedly, but only when no one is looking.”
“Doesn’t that sound fun?”
Devan read on. “Play laird and serf in the poison gardens at Alnwick Castle. The laird is testing out poisons on the serf. Devan is the serf.” Devan chuckled. “I think we’ll give that one a miss.”
He carried on reading. “Beachcombing at Beadnell. BDSM taster session at Craster—forty ways to have fun with a kipper. Visit the only wild cattle in the world at Chillingham—a trip fraught with danger. A blowjob in the Aston, a blowjob on the Aston, a blow job next to the Aston.” He raised his eyebrows.
“I wasn’t sure there was enough room under it. But we could try.”
Devan’s cock was trying to indicate its interest by standing up and waving. “Ghost tour at Chillingham Castle, skinny dipping at Ross Back Sands on a naturist beach. Jonty to provide food, drink and blanket, plus binoculars to watch the upstanding—changed to outstanding—nature.”
The more Devan read, the more he laughed. “Use a whole box of condoms in an interesting way all over Bamburgh. The police can judge the best use. Mud wrestling while walking to Holy Island—loser has to drink an entire glass of mead.”
Jonty shuddered. “It’s disgusting.”
Devan huffed and read on. “Pretend you’ve never heard of Harry Potter while doing the Harry Potter experience.” He didn’t read out the last one.Thoroughly test out my bed.
He set the sheets of paper aside. “Completely spoiled for choice. How about I drive and you direct me. We’ll do whatever you like.”
“But it’syourday.”
“Surprise me.”
“I’ve run out of condoms and lube.”
Devan laughed. “I haven’t.”
JONTY PULLED ON HIS COATand grabbed his backpack. Earlier that morning, he’d nipped to the local shop and bought food for a picnic as well as withdrawing a chunk of cash from his account. He’d already booked the first activity so he hoped Devan was up for it. He’d text Gill once they were on their way. Devan followed Jonty down onto the street and Jonty locked the door. As he turned, he saw Brad leaning against Devan’s car.
“Off my car.” Devan was heading straight for him.
Shit!
“You lied,” Brad said and Devan stopped walking.
“Get off his car and I didn’t lie.” Jonty nipped past Devan and went right up to Brad. “You want me to call the police again?”
“You told me there was nobody else.”
