Page 154 of A Long Way Back
Ru had been collected that morning by Vicki—who had the story she wanted—and she was taking Ru to see their parents who now lived in Hampshire. She offered to take Ink too, but he never wanted to see or speak to them again. Nothing could put right the decisions they’d made. He’d never forgive them.
“Are you okay, yet?” Tay asked.
“I’m fine.” Ink smiled at him.
Tay raised his eyebrows. “Not good?”
“Not yet.”
“I can’t believe it takes so long to get a conviction quashed. You’d think Ru could just appear in front of a judge, sayI’m alive, and that would be it.”
It had disappointed Ink too. Maybe that was why he felt sort of flat. Tay was more excited about all this than him, which was crazy. Maybe Tay was just quicker to get his head around the possibility of a future Ink had long given up on. Though never completely.
“Everything has to be reviewed,” Ink said. “Lawyers are never quick. And now a happy ever after’s been dangled within reach, I’m wondering if I’m capable of a normal life.”
“Why not? Why shouldn’t you live happily ever after?” Tay asked quietly.
“Because I don’t know what normal is. I’m not a criminal. I wasn’t like the others who were locked up. Lots of inmates claimed they were innocent, but I really was. Being in prison was stressful and hard to endure. Ten years knowing I shouldn’t be there, that it wasn’t fair, that there was nothing I could do, that if anyone found out who I was, they’d probably kill me. It’s difficult to explain, but those who deserved to be locked up had a different mentality to me, like they were part of a gang, united by their behaviour. Being in there changed something inside my head. I want to be normal, but I don’t know if that can happen. I know I don’t need to worry about pictures being taken or that someone might be following me, or that you might be attacked because you’re with me, but I can’t just let those feelings go. I want to, but it’s not going to happen instantly.”
“Do… Do you want to be with me?” Tay asked. “Because I feel as if you’re getting ready to run.”
Ink’s heart beat faster. “You deserve better than me.”
“Let me be the judge of that. Have you thought how I’ll feel if you leave? As if you rejected me because I wasn’t good enough, because I didn’t understand? Doesn’t matter if you convince yourself you’re leaving so you don’t hurt me. You’d hurt me by leaving.”
You’d get over me.
“I can’t make you stay.” Tay stopped walking. “Okay, then go. Leave me alone. I don’t need you.”
“Reverse psychology?”
“I only let you stay because of the sex.”
Ink smiled. “Not because of my dazzling wit?”
“Hmm.”
“Or my beautiful bum?”
“Well…”
“Or that I bring you breakfast in bed?”
“Fine, those as well.”
Ink looked into Tay’s eyes. “I should walk away, but I can’t. I want to be with you. All six feet two of you, Taylor McKenzie Robertson. With your soft dark hair and electric eyes. Whose favourite book isThe Cartelby Don Winslow—you blood-thirsty freak. Who has a horse called Blue that bites him. And a best friend called Jonty who’ll be his best friend for life. Who has a lovely Mum and Dad. And your dog, Dog.”
“Mydog?”
“I might have given your contact details when I had him chipped.”
“Did you hear that, Dog?”
Dog ran up to Tay and jumped up against him before running back to the water.
“Don’t go in too far and struggle,” Ink called. “Tay doesn’t want to get wet.”
Tay clutched his fingers. “You’re happy—right? Because I’m worried about you. I imagined you’d be bouncing everywhere, but you’re not.”
