Page 67 of A Long Way Back
“Youdidneed them, but they’re not helping you get better. You’ve been having to swallow more and more to take the edge off.”
“How would you fucking know?”
“Because I’ve lived with addicts. I’ve had my stuff stolen by addicts. A couple of nights ago, a guy in the squat I was in died of an overdose. You might think codeine is relatively harmless, but it’s not. When it stops being effective, what do you try next? Heroin? Fentanyl? I want to help you stop taking codeine. I’ve bought vitamins, energy drinks, protein shakes, Imodium, chocolate, lube and condoms.”
That didn’t even raise a smile.Did I expect one? Well, I’d hoped.
“Because I’m really going to be thinking about having sex with a guy for the first time while I have stomach cramps and I’m throwing up and I’m fucking cursing him for being a fucking bastard.”
“But after?”
Tay huffed. “Fuck off. You’re not touching me.”
Once he knew Tay was over the worst, he’d leave. So why did that sound so…difficult.
“I’m trying to be a friend,” Ink whispered. “What you’re doing isn’t right. You’ve been through something terrible. It was mind-blowingly scary, but you can get your life back again. It’s something within your control and you’ve no idea how lucky that makes you.”
“Lucky?” Tay gaped at him. “Fuck the hell off.”
“Codeine isn’t the happiness it pretends to be.”
“Pack your stuff and get out of here.”
“No. Do you actually want to keep taking it? You can’t be that stupid.”
“You—” Tay glowered. “I need it.”
“Then you’re an addict.”
Tay’s fists clenched. “I can fucking stop if I want to.”
“Then stop.”
“I don’t fucking want to.”
Ink just stood and stared at him. “See if you can manage without it.”
“Fine,” Tay snapped.
“Really?” That was too fast.
“I’ve said I will. God, what do you want? A promise signed in blood? Do something useful. Get me a coffee…please.”
“Okay.”
Ink went into the kitchen aware that capitulation had come sooner than he’d thought. Had he missed some tablets? He stood thinking, waiting for the kettle to boil. Was it worth warning Tay of what was to come? He was already showing one of the withdrawal symptoms—irritability—and he knew about the stomach cramps.
Along with the coffee, Ink took water and vitamin tablets back with him, and when Tay swallowed them without a murmur, Ink wondered what he was up to.I should have taken his phone.Maybe he’d texted his dealer. Probably this Lennie guy.I could take the phone now.But was that level of distrust a step too far?
“Think you could eat?” Ink asked. “I could cook something other than pasta if you don’t fancy that.”
“Steak and chips.”
Seriously?“Is there steak in the freezer?”
“No.”
“I’m not going out. You can have that another day.”
