Page 106 of Waiting for Ru
Ru shrugged. “I wish I’d gone to school, I wish I’d been able to be a normal teenager, to have a life with my brother. But I didn’t. And I’m not the sort to dwell on what I missed out on. There’s no point. Why waste the life I have now by thinking about the times I didn’t enjoy?”
“I don’t think you know how amazing and resilient you are.”
“I’m not. I’m a mess. I’m not speaking to my parents. I sort of feel I should but I also feel a loyalty to Ink that stops me forgiving them. I have a crow for a best friend and I’m in part responsible for my brother going to prison. I want to make up for that in some way, but I don’t know how, except to be the best person I can be, to make Ink proud of me.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s already proud of you. Did he want you up in Northumberland with him?”
“He said I could stay, but he and his boyfriend don’t need me around and there’s less chance of a job up there. I don’t want to be a burden to Ink. I don’t want him to worry about me.” Ru looked out of the window. “Where are we going?”
“Bridport. There’s less chance of seeing someone I know or we both know than in Dorchester.” Jasim swore under his breath. “That sounds like you’re a dirty little secret and you’re not.”
“Not dirty. Not yet.” Ru chuckled.
Jasim shot him a smile. “Is there a cheeky confidence lurking inside you?”
“Probably not. But you never know. It’ll be a surprise to both of us.”
Jasim laughed. Ru liked making him laugh.
When they reached the multiplex, Jasim sent Ru off to the concession stand while he bought the tickets. Ru still hadn’t purchased anything when he came up at his side.
“Can’t make up your mind?” Jasim asked.
“No. You choose.” Everything was so expensive, and Ru hadn’t wanted to get something Jasim didn’t like.
Jasim picked up a box of Heroes chocolates and popcorn, and Ru quickly pulled out his wallet to pay. He was glad when Jasim let him without protest. This was not an equal relationship. Ru would never have the money that Jasim had, but he wanted to pay for things too.
“Did you get chocolates to eat when… Sorry.” Jasim sighed. “Do you not want to talk about it?”
“I really don’t mind talking about it. Ink said I should, that it would make it sit easier in my mind. If there’s something I don’t feel comfortable about, then I won’t say anything. So don’t worry about that. My aunt liked chocolate, so yes, I had it sometimes, but only because I used to sneak one, or break a chunk off a bar. I don’t think she ever noticed. They… They bought me chocolates at Christmas. It wasn’t all bad, just not what it should have been. I remembered Christmases with my mum and dad and my brother. I missed them then. But over the years, I think I made my memories into something better than the reality.”
Jasim brushed his fingers against Ru’s. “That was something I did too.”
They showed their tickets and headed to the screening room. Ru followed Jasim up a slope, then along a row to the end. There were only a few people in there.
“Mute your phone,” Jasim said.
“Okay. This doesn’t seem like a popular film.”
“I don’t know how many people usually come. It’s a first for a long time for me too.”
The lights went down and Jasim took hold of his hand.
Ru smiled at him. “I’ll have to let you go to eat a chocolate.”
“You’d choose a chocolate over my hand?”
“No, but you should have chosen ones that weren’t wrapped.”
Jasim chuckled, then leaned in and kissed Ru’s cheek. “No one behind us. Everyone’s facing forwards. That won’t be the last kiss.”
Ru’s heart clenched.
Once the film started, he couldn’t tear his eyes from the screen. The first scene was so fast and exciting with helicopters racing along a gully, that he found himself holding his breath. Everything looked amazing on a big screen, the sound was really loud, and he felt as if he was actually in the film.
Ru turned to smile at Jasim, and Jasim stole another kiss, and that one went on and on. Ru was breathing hard when they stopped and when he looked back at the screen, he had no idea what was happening. Jasim fed him chocolates and kisses and Ru was so happy, he almost felt like crying. He leaned against Jasim, rested his head on his shoulder, and closed his eyes. He wanted this all the time. Not the cinema, but the being close, being touched with kindness, belonging.
His eyes sprang open when there was a loud scream over the speakers, the popcorn went flying and he yelped when he saw the wide-jawed monster on the screen. Were they watching the same film? The creature reached for a soldier, ripped him in half with razor-sharp teeth, blood spurting everywhere and Ru buried his face in Jasim’s chest.
