Page 112 of Waiting for Ru
Jasim turned and walked toward the car. So March had been keeping an eye on him. At one time that would have irritated him, now it made him happy for Caleb that March was taking care of him.
Once Ru’s seatbelt was fastened, Jasim set off.
“Are you angry with me?” Ru whispered.
“What? No.”
“Good because otherwise I’d have had to remind you that it was you who asked them to sit with us.”
Jasim laughed. “It was.”
“Would you rather that I didn’t talk to Caleb?”
“You can talk to him.”
“Thank you. Was… Was Caleb your boyfriend?”
Jasim thought how to answer. “No, he was never my boyfriend. But I’ve fucked him.”
Ru didn’t say anything to that but his hand crept onto Jasim’s thigh.
“I paid for sex with him,” Jasim said. “I saw a picture of him on the dark web, bid for him in an auction and he was delivered secretly to a hotel room with the understanding that I could do whatever I wanted to him.” Jasim’s heart was thumping with dread, and also a sense of relief at being able to tell Ru the truth.
Listen to what sort of man I am. Not a good one.
“But… How did…?”
“Liam, the man who’d abducted Caleb, tired of him when he was no longer a child. I didn’t know anything about that. I thought Liam was Caleb’s pimp, that Caleb was willing. I convinced myself of that. But he wasn’t willing. He was drugged up to his eyeballs and I didn’t see the truth until it was almost too late. Liam had made him an addict, and was using him. Caleb wasn’t underage when I had sex with him. I never considered that I was raping him, but that was what I did. I assumed consent that wasn’t there because Caleb was out of his head when I fucked him.”
“All to try and keep it a secret that you were gay.”
“Caleb paid for that.”
“But if you hadn’t bought him someone else would have.”
“It’s little consolation. I was paranoid about hiding my sexuality. I thought money paid on the dark web would buy safety. Liam imagined I did far more to Caleb than I actually did. I wasn’t looking for a young man to torture. But that’s what I did. Not physically, but… What did March say to you while I was talking to Caleb?”
“He told me to be careful. That you might be dangerous.”
“He’s right.”
“Why did he say that?”
“I don’t think that’s something you need to be burdened with.”
“O…kay.”
Jasim huffed.He can’t be that naïve and not ask.And yet, Ru was exactly the sort to take things at face value. He wouldn’t push.Do I want him to?
“Do you want me to push you into telling me?” Ru asked.
Jasim let out a choked laugh. “I don’t know.”
“Caleb looks like me,” Ru whispered.
It wasn’t difficult to see what Ru was thinking. “He does.” No point denying it.
“Is… Is that why you want me?”
