Page 113 of Waiting for Ru
“No. Never think that. You are so different to Caleb. I don’t see him when I look at you. I only see you. If anything, you looking like Caleb should have sent me running in the opposite direction, but I don’t see him in you, Ru. I really don’t. I feel shame when I look at Caleb. That’s not what I feel when I look at you.”
“Okay.”
Jasim glanced at him. “You’re sure? One word to tell me you’re okay with this?”
“If you say it’s not the reason you want me, then I believe you.”
I don’t deserve you.
“Thank you for the pizza and for taking me to the cinema.”
“We’ll go again… If you want to.”
“Not a frightening film next time.”
“Oh I don’t know. I like you snuggling up against me.”
Ru laughed. “I could do some more of that. I liked it too. Maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe we could stop in a layby and have a snuggle because I know you’re going to be busy from now on. No more swimming lessons or sneaking into the pool house.”
“We can do this again. Go out in the evening.”
“Because we’re not likely to meet anyone you know.” Ru chuckled.
“I literally couldn’t believe it.”
“Did… Did you still want him when you saw him? Oh God, pretend I didn’t ask you that.”
“No.” It was the truth. All Jasim felt was shame and guilt.
“It says a layby coming up in half a mile.”
“We need a quieter road than a dual carriageway.”
“Okay.”
Jasim began to ignore the satnav and after a few miles down a quiet country lane, when he was being constantly told to find a safe place to do a U-turn, he found a place to pull off in front of a gate into a field. There were no houses around, and they’d seen no other cars.
“I think you upset the satnav,” Ru said.
“I should have cancelled it, but I was testing my willpower.”
Ru chuckled.
“Let’s get out of the car,” Jasim said.
He pulled the blanket out of the boot and locked the car. “I hope there isn’t a bull in the field.”
“You climb over first.”
Jasim raised his eyebrows, but he climbed over the gate into a wheat field. There was enough light left in the sky to see how the crop rolled away into the distance like a gently rippling sea. Ru joined him.
“The ground’s hard.” Jasim spread the blanket just inside the crop. “It’s not rained for a while.”
“That’s okay. I’ll lie on top of you.”
