Page 57 of Waiting for Ru
“If I don’t get you to eat something, I’ll be in trouble. Make the most of it. I don’t offer to make breakfast very often.” She smiled.
“Toast? Please.”
“Marmalade or jam?”
“Marmalade. Thank you.”
“Decaf coffee or something else? You’re not allowed caffeine.”
“Decaf is fine, thank you.”
Ru leaned back against the headboard and yelped. He gingerly touched his head and could feel the lump.Ouch.Before Georgia came back, he had a quick shower and pulled on jeans and a T-shirt. His wet clothes had gone from the bathroom and it reminded him he needed to do his laundry.
Georgia came back as he stepped into the bedroom.
“You’re not supposed to be out of bed.” She put the tray on a table near the window.
“I feel okay.” Actually, he felt a little shaky, but part of that was lingering embarrassment over what he’d done and said yesterday.
“I’ll leave you for a while. Call the office if you need anything.”
She left and Ru pulled open the curtains. It was another lovely day; a bright blue sky, and hardly a cloud to enjoy any nephelococcygia. He smiled. Hehadmemorised some words from the dictionary. It had been something to do to pass the time.
He turned his back on the window and looked around. He’d never been in a bedroom as lovely as this one. It was huge. Not only was there a small table and two chairs by one of the windows, there was a couch and coffee table and a wall-mounted TV. The room was decorated in shades of blue and yellow, and the bed was the biggest Ru had ever slept in.
Bela flew in through the window and landed on his shoulder.
“Did you smell toast?” Ru gave a short laugh and broke off a crust for her. She took it in her beak and flew back outside. Ru settled in a chair and spread butter and marmalade on the lightly toasted bread. The coffee was in a jug and he eventually worked out he needed to twist the stopper to pour it.
He didn’t want to think about what he’d said to Jasim, but it was impossible not to. He almost managed to convince himself that Jasim hadn’t said what he had.You have no idea how often I’ve imagined kissing you.But he had said it and Ru wasn’t misconstruing it. Those words were the only things keeping him where he was.I wasn’t wrong.
Something had told him that Jasim was gay. Ru couldn’t have said what thatsomethingwas, but he felt a sense of triumph and relief that he’d been right, except it hadn’t led anywhere. Jasim must have seen thatsomethingin him too, but unlike Ru, he’d not done anything about it. Did gay guys just know that someone was gay? Ru hadn’t been sure about Jasim. What if he’d been wrong?
It was a bloody minefield and if he’d been a teenager tiptoeing through it, he’d have worked out the way to cross it, probably getting a bit damaged by shrapnel on the way, but Ru hadn’t had the advantage of those years of experience. He was still amazed that he’d dared kiss Jasim. He could have easily been thumped. Still, it wasn’t as if the stolen kiss had achieved anything, except maybe given him enough confidence to see that if he’d done it once, he could do it again. Though next time, hemightget thumped.
Back on planet Earth, Ru could see plenty of reasons why Jasim wouldn’t want him.
Firstly, he was a lot older than Ru. Probably old enough to be his father. Ru didn’t care about the age difference, but Jasim might. He might be put off by Ru’s innocence and inexperience, and there was nothing Ru could do about that.
Secondly, Jasim had the most amazing life. He was a brilliant polo player who travelled all over the world. He owned a beautiful home, acres of land, an actual polo field and lots of ponies. Ru didn’t know how much of that the patron paid for, but even so, Jasim was rich. And a prince. And Ru was his employee. Ru didn’t care, but Jasim might, and Ru was pretty sure the other grooms and stable hands wouldn’t like it. There was no way they’d be friends with him if he had a thing going with Jasim.
Lastly, though it wasn’t really the final reason Jasim might not want him, Ru had nothing. He could offer nothing. He wasn’t thinking of money, but just himself. He wasn’t interesting. He might be, one day, but he currently wasn’t. Jasim might not care, but this time, Ru did. He knew what people would think. That he was after Jasim’s money and he wasn’t. That it was just about sex. Maybe it would be.
But he was racing way ahead of himself. One kiss that hadn’t been reciprocated was in no way an indication of anything. Though it appeared Jasim wasn’t going to sack him. Maybe he felt he couldn’t after the swimming pool incident.
There was another reason Jasim probably wouldn’t want him. Ru didn’t know what he was doing and if Jasim was bothering to think about it, he’d realise Ru had no sexual experience at all. If Ru didn’t count watching those few video clips. He’d not spent ages planning the kiss or thinking about it, it had just happened. Jasim might have imagined kissing him, but that didn’t mean he ever would have. If Ru hadn’t suddenly seized the moment, he’d have been like Jasim, still imagining doing it.
So maybe Jasim had only been trying to be kind in saying what he had. He’d understood that Ru was mortified and he’d tried to let him down gently. That sort of made sense.
Sweet kid who had no idea what he was doing. I pretended I’d wanted to kiss him so he wouldn’t feel bad.
The likelihood now was that Jasim would never mention it and the snatched kiss that would forever linger as a memory inside Ru’s head, would soon be forgotten by Jasim.
I want to run away.He knew it was an immature reaction but running away solved so much. Ru cleaned his teeth, shaved, and put all his toiletries in his backpack. His shorts and towel had been dried and left on a chair, so he added those too. When he looked out of the window, he saw the pool below and, in the distance, ponies being exercised.I could have had this.Not the pool but the riding. Paid work looking after horses while he got his head in gear. With one stolen kiss, he’d wrecked it all. Disappointment settled in his gut like a lead weight.
He heard the sound of footsteps below and peered down to see Jasim, in his riding clothes, heading for an A-shaped building at the end of the pool. Ru should have moved, but he didn’t. A few moments later, Jasim came out wearing blue swimming trunks and the breath caught in Ru’s throat.Whoa!Ru found himself staring at the definition in his abs, the way the trunks sat low on Jasim’s hips, the treasure trail of dark hair. Ru moved back. He didn’t want Jasim to look up and see him watching.
But when he heard a splash, it was safe to assume Jasim was in the water, and he slid back to the window. Jasim made swimming look so easy and graceful, cutting through the water in long, sure strokes. Ru had a vague memory of that being the stroke they were taught at school in their weekly trip to the municipal pool. He could picture his class, though no faces, swinging their arms over their heads, splashing their way from one side of the pool to the other, legs kicking furiously. They got a certificate for managing a few yards without drowning.
