Page 84 of Waiting for Ru
“I want to do the exams in a single year though, not two,” Ru added. “If I can’t find a training centre then I’ll do A levels and apply to university.” That showed he was determined, didn’t it?
“What subjects at GCSE?” Newt asked.
“Maths, English, biology, geography and chemistry. I might struggle with chemistry.”
“I could help you,” Newt said.
Leigh laughed. “I thought you told me you set fire to the chemistry teacher’s hair.”
“And I can make sure Ru never does that.”
“Oh God.” Leigh groaned.
“How did you do that?” Ru asked
“I lifted up the Bunsen burner, turned round and there he was. Much too close but I was irresistible, even then.”
Ru took a deep breath. After Jasim had left the night of the dinner, he’d told the guys most of what Jasim had told him. Leigh had said he’d thought Jasim might be bi, but was aware he kept his private life very private.
“You’ll be careful around Jasim, won’t you?” Ru asked.
Newt glanced at him. “Yes. Promise.”
“I wish I could say I think Jasim’s paranoid, but I do understand,” Leigh said. “I feel sorry for him. And you. Just when I think how far we’ve come in recent years with LGBTQ+ rights… But I guess there are mountains in some countries that might never be climbed. Are you going to be okay with him not coming out?”
“While that’s what he wants, yes.” What choice was there? But Ru hadn’t known him long. Maybe he was just a foothill in Jasim’s mountain range, a stepping stone to Jasim being what he was.
“When did you realise you were gay?” Newt asked.
“I think, for sure, when I met Jasim.”
Leigh turned a shocked face in his direction. “Did you think you were straight until then?”
“I didn’t know what I was. Sex was the last thing on my mind when I was in Ireland. I never met anyone. I had no one to talk things through with. I only knew what I’d read in the books they got me. We didn’t have a TV or a radio let alone the internet. I knew virtually nothing about sex.”
“Fucking hell,” Leigh said.
“My brother is gay. I suspect my parents will blame him when I tell them that I am too.”
“But even if they don’t like it, will they be supportive?” Newt asked.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever speak to them again, so who knows.”
“Why not?” Leigh asked.
“Because they accepted that my brother had killed me. They never went to see him in prison. Never wrote to him. I can’t forgive them for the way they treated him. Maybe if he forgives them, then I might… But I think we both lost too much for us to have a relationship with them that was anything like it used to be.”
“That’s sad,” Leigh said.
“Yes.”
Leigh turned to look at him. “I get that your brother has been angry with your parents for so long that he can’t contemplate any other emotion, but you’ve only felt that way since you found out they were alive. When you were in Ireland, did you think of them kindly then?”
Ru swallowed against the obstruction in his throat. “I remembered all the good things about them and about my brother. How…”
“How what?” Leigh asked.
“How my mum used to make me hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows. How my dad used to make things in the garage with me. I had happy memories but what they did to Ink spoiled them.”
