Page 101 of Inbetweeners
“Would we ever agree on anything?”
“Unlikely.”
“We’re just like a married couple.”
“We’re nothing like a married couple.”
“But we hate each other, argue all the time, and the sex is…pretty hot.” Emmett grinned.
“I’ve taken offense atpretty hot.”
“How will you get any better if I go overboard with praise at this point?”
Nix smiled. “Why the stools?”
“I thought we could hold them out in front of us to stop Greyson getting near us with his knife. While I heroically fend him off with my trusty stool, you can clout him over the head with yours. And even better, if challenged over why we were taking two stools to the house, we could say the owner had bought them on Facebook Marketplace and we were delivering them.”
“Right. And the police would accept that, would they? No evidence of a sale on our phones? Better to keep it simple. We’re there to kill them. We’ll either succeed or not.”
“Kill?” Emmett whispered.
“Well, what did you think we were going to do? Tell them they’d been naughty, smack their backsides and walk away?”
“I thought we’d restrain them with the cable ties.”
Nix huffed. “If they’re normal humans maybe that will be possible. But we don’t know what they are. If they try to kill us, then we have to defend ourselves.”
“Right.”
“I need to know you have my back,” Nix said.
“I do. But I also want to call in at St Joseph’s church. It’s down this road. We can fill the bottles with holy water. If there isn’t any in the font, we’ll ask the priest to bless some.”
“And what are we going to do with holy water?”
“It’s supposed to protect against evil.” Emmett shrugged.
“We’d be better using bleach.”
“I couldn’t squirt bleach at anyone.”
“Not even someone who’s trying to stab you with a knife?”
Emmett sighed.
Nix sighed louder. “What do you think happens when holy water hits a demon or a vampire? Assuming movie makers have it right.”
Emmett winced. “Ah, right. It burns like acid. Except bleach is an alkali.”
“I don’t think holy water is a bad idea. It doesn’t even have to work. The threat might be enough. But even if Greyson is a demon, we don’t know how to send him back to Hell.”
“We use the cable ties and call Tar.”
“Because cable ties will work better than chains?”
“I see sarcasm is alive and well. Do you get the feeling we’re being deliberately kept in the dark? Do they want us to fail?”
“I agree that something’s off.” Nix pulled in by a used furniture shop. “Will this place do?”
