Page 128 of Inbetweeners
Phoenix gaped at him. “Did you get the right head when it grew back? We don’t want to stick out. We need to blend in. But changing our hair colour is a good idea.”
“Look up a place where we can buy wigs. Or maybe one of us should dye their hair.” Emmett moved the empty plates to the washing up bowl and took a sharp knife from the drawer. “Do you want one too?”
“What happened to not being able to hurt someone?”
Emmett gaped at him. “That fucker cut off my head!”
“How are you going to carry that without anyone noticing? Or without stabbing yourself?”
“I’ll work something out. We’re going to buy new clothes too. Different stuff that’ll make us unrecognisable. Temporary tattoos. You can have a piercing. They’re not going to know what’s hit them.”
Phoenix came to his side and picked up an even bigger knife. “Oh, I hope they do.”
When they got down to the car, Cat was sitting on the bonnet licking his backside.
“I was thinking we should take the bike,” Phoenix said. “Easier to park. Quicker.”
Cat jumped down and sat by the back door of the car.
Emmett stared at her. “I think Cat wants to come. Plus, we have those—”
“Do not mention those stools.”
Emmett huffed. He put a bag on the back seat that held the knives, a couple of belts to strap them in place, the two bottles of holy water and cable ties. Cat squirmed through his legs and jumped up to sit next to the bag. Emmett tickled his head and he purred.
“Sure you want to come?” he asked.
Cat purred louder and curled up.
“Maybe you ought to switch your phone off,” Emmett said. “We don’t want them to know we’re coming.”
“Yep.” Phoenix switched it off, then set the satnav. They’d located a fancy-dress shop near Tottenham Court Road that looked as though it would have everything they’d need. Sophie’s shop, calledBump in the Night,was less than three-quarters of a mile away from there.
“I need you to be really careful.” Phoenix glanced at him as he drove down the road.
“I’ll try not to get my head cut off again.” Emmett put his hand on Phoenix’s thigh and squeezed.
“You know why. Not that this is a competition, but I haven’t used up one life yet.”
“I can’t figure out why no one wants to kill you. I mean,Ido. On a regular basis.”
Phoenix gave a loud laugh.
“I’m a bit miffed I didn’t die doing something heroic. I always wanted to be a hero. You were in your job. I never even thought of volunteering to be a member of a lifeboat crew or mountain rescue. I haven’t even done a first aid course. I know CPR, but I’d never have known to press a head back on a neck and hold it until it meshed into place. Were you tempted to put it on backwards?”
“So tempted. Seven lives gone, you’re now in the danger zone. Please be careful.”
“You sound like you mean it.”
Phoenix glanced at him. “I do.”
“I’ll be careful. Were you okay last night? Vin didn’t come back?”
“No. I’m concerned that he was able to appear while I’m awake. That implies he’s growing stronger.”
“Maybe we ought to have a few more words to use so you can tell me you’re still in charge. Any chocolate bars would do. Boost, Bounty, Crunchie, Yorkie…” Emmett groaned. “Now I want chocolate. Not Twix. I don’t like those. You picked the right one to warn me off. But Cadbury’s milk chocolate. Mmm. Oh God… yes… yes… yessssss!”
Phoenix laughed. “I’ll buy you the biggest bar I can find later.”
