Page 158 of Inbetweeners
“What about if you bathed in holy water, drank pints of it? What if we found someone to exorcise Vin? What if—?”
Phoenix kissed him silent. “I can’t risk falling asleep. Vin would make me kill you and then I’m lost.”
“The final time I’d use the knife would be to kill myself.”
“Emmett!” Phoenix pulled him in so their foreheads rested together.
“Okay.” Emmett sat up straighter. Maybe he’d get sent to Hell for doing this. That might be an upside.
“You’ll do it?”
“Yes.”
Emmett saw the relief wash over Phoenix.
“I thought maybe we could fuck,” Phoenix muttered. “But it feels wrong. I just want you to hold me.”
Emmett pulled him into his arms. “I never want to let you go.”
“I know. I feel the same.”
“I don’t want you to be in Hell.” Emmett couldn’t stop touching him.
“At least this time I’ll have you to remember. Knowing you’re safe will make me happy. You’ve made me happy. I’m not sure I’ve ever been happy. We balance each other. I was wild and reckless. You were careful and controlled. I learnt from you and you learnt from me. We’re perfect for each other.”
They lay down on the couch. “In another life…” Phoenix said.
“In another life, we’d have had kids.”
Phoenix raised his eyebrows.
“I saw the way you looked when you held your nephew. You had such longing in your eyes. A yearning for a different life, the chance to do something special, to prove you could be a good father.”
“I never thought of having kids. I never imagined I could trust myself to do things right, but when I saw Orion… Yeah, in another life, a family of my own. One with you, and kids, that would have been great. Though not straight away. I’d want you to myself for a few years first.”
“And what would you do with me?”
“Take you on adventures. Persuade you to get tattoos and piercings for real. I like the idea of a straightlaced Emmett at work with his facts and figures, and a wild Emmett at home making me see stars in the daytime. Then me making you see them too.”
“I think we’d have been happy together.”
“I do too. Even though you’d still get pissed off with me and call me an arsehole, probably because I was.”
“Probably?”
Phoenix laughed, then the laughter fell away. “There’s never going to be the right time for this, you do know that?”
“I know. I think it’s up to you.”
Phoenix closed his eyes for a long moment. “Maybe we should do it before you get tired.”
“You think I’ll fall asleep while I watch you go through this?”
“Read your book until I come back to life.”
“I don’t care about the bloody book. I won’t take my eyes off you.”
Phoenix pushed to his feet and held out his hand. “Now.”
