Page 163 of Inbetweeners
Emmett managed a small smile. “We? You want to get thrown out of Heaven after you’ve just arrived?”
Harry gulped. “No. It’s pretty nice here. Rashid and I have a lovely home. It’s a pink house near the boat dock on Lake Wonder. We’ve made a few friends. We’ve put our names down to adopt a dog until their owner turns up, but we’re not sure if Cat—Romeo will be okay about that.” He bent to pet him. “Maybe just a little dog, eh, Romeo?”
Romeo scratched at Harry’s trousers.
A home by a lake?Emmett had never even heard of Lake Wonder. How had they managed that?
“There must be something we can do,” Rashid said.
“Thank you, but this is something I have to do myself.”
Both Harry and Rashid smiled at him.
“Right answer,” Harry said. “Maybe this will help. Don’t forget where we live. Come and visit.”
Emmett found a piece of card being pushed into his hand. On it was writtenVoucher for a Perfect Day.He frowned and looked up. “Where did you—?” But the three of them had gone. He looked around, but they were nowhere to be seen.
He turned the card over in his fingers. There were candles with flames that seemed to flicker, but how was that possible?Duh, Emmett, Heaven, remember?What did they represent? He counted them, and then it dawned on him: a candle for each of the souls he and Nix had helped. Despite his sadness over Nix, Emmett’s heart lifted. At least some good had come out of their time back on Earth.
So, Harry had been told to give this to him and not linger? When Emmett thought about it, there was no way their annoying sidekick would have just accepted that Emmett needed to do this on his own. Was this voucher supposed to make up for a queue that would last for years? Or to compensate for losing Phoenix? Emmett was so disappointed, sad, pissed off and generallyfluffingfurious that he wanted to scream. Maybe he should. Except all that would do was bring a group ofperfect peopleto calm him down.
How could a perfect day be perfect without Phoenix?
It fluffing can’t.
Part of him was tempted to throw the card away. The other part of him was curious. But where was he supposed to go?
Hold on a minute. Where’s that super brain of yours, Emmett Briscoe?
Emmett gulped. He was so stupid. He’d asked a question, answered it himself and not listened. A perfect day couldn’t be perfect without Phoenix. His heart started to pound and he clung to the piece of card.Am I going to see him? Is he just going to appear?
As he stood unmoving in the plaza, a rolling fog headed towards him. Emmett looked round to see it was approaching from all sides. That wasn’t good. Or maybe it was. He swallowed hard and curled his toes in his shoes. Finally, he couldn’t see more than a couple of feet in any direction. Was Phoenix on his way?Maybe I’m supposed to walk forwards.But what if he wasn’t supposed to move?
The old Emmett would have waited. The new Emmett stepped forward into the mist and the visibility dropped to zero. Why did this have to be so difficult? Maybe he just needed to be brave. He took two steps to find nothing under his feet. He flung out his arms to stop himself faceplanting, but he didn’t hit the ground, instead he kept falling and the mist grew darker. Emmett hadn’t thought his heart could beat any faster but he was wrong.
He was terrified. Was he getting his wish to join Phoenix in Hell? Or was he being expelled from Heaven for vandalism? He might be frightened, but he didn’t regret his decision, even though he knew this was going to hurt. Assuming he eventually landed.
But he hit water, went under, and kept going down and down into the cold black depths until panic set in. He flailed so much that he wasn’t sure which direction was up or even if there was a surface to get to. When he’d stopped descending, he forced himself to keep still, and as soon as he’d started to sink, he swam the other way, powering up with his arms, kicking his legs, losing his shoes as he ran out of air.Oh fuck! I’ve lost the voucher.
As his head broke the surface, something grabbed him from behind and panic turned into fury. Getting eaten by a shark was one of his worst fears. Just the sort of thing to torture him with in Hell. Emmett lashed out.
“For fuck’s sake,” snapped a familiar voice. “Stop fighting, you dickhead, and let me rescue you.”
Emmett gasped, swallowed water and started to cough as Phoenix hauled him over to a boat.
“Can you climb the ladder?” Phoenix put one of Emmett’s hands on a rung. “Hurry up because I’m expecting my boyfriend to drop in any minute.”
“Arsehole,” Emmett muttered as he climbed up onto the boat.
He stood dripping all over the deck and shaking as Phoenix climbed up to join him. They stood looking at each other in the moonlight, and Emmett wished now that the first word from his mouth hadn’t beenarsehole,but it was too late.
Phoenix smiled.
Emmett smiled back.
Then they were in each other’s arms. Words could wait.
Clothes were discarded as they tumbled to the deck, holding each other, kissing and kissing while Emmett flipped back and forth trying to convince himself whether or not this was real.
