Page 22 of Inbetweeners
“What happened next?” Emmett asked.
“There were all these people around, and the woman wandered off. It took me a moment to realise I was on my feet. I saw my mate’s sister and I asked her what was going on, but she didn’t hear me. But when I looked round, I was still lying there, which didn’t… Oh fuck. I’m dead? I… Well, this is shit.”
“Finally,” Nix said.
“What did the guy who stabbed you look like, and the woman who wanted you to go with her?” Emmett asked.
“White guy. He had silver-grey hair. Cut short. ‘Bout my height. Early forties maybe. His eyes were really dark. The woman looked to be in her late twenties. Pretty. A blonde. Hair to her shoulders.”
“What were they wearing?” Emmett pressed.
“I don’t remember. I don’t feel well. The fucker stabbed me! I should have run the other way. Not to the balcony. Christ, I live on the ninth floor. I fell all that way?”
“Have you been good?” Nix asked.
“That’s not for him or us to judge,” Emmett whispered.
“You mean Heaven and Hell exist?” Charlie whispered back.
Emmett nodded. “Yes. And you need to go now. You can’t hang around in between this world and the next. You’ll get more and more confused and lonely.”
“The longer you stay, the less chance you have of getting into Heaven.”
Emmett groaned. “You can’t tell him that.”
“We’ll be here all day! He just needs to go.”
“But how do I go?” Charlie asked.
Nix and Emmett shot each other a glance. Clearly Emmett had no more idea than he did.
“Maybe just accept that your life on Earth is over,” Emmett said. “You can’t interact with anyone anymore. Can’t speak to your friends and family, or touch them. This world isn’t yours any longer. You need to go on to what comes after.”
Charlie blinked. “What if I don’t like what comes after?”
“You get what you deserve,” Nix said. “Isn’t that right, Emmett?”
Emmett scowled.
“Your time’s up. Off you pop,” Nix added.
“Off you pop? You are such an arsehole,” Emmett hissed.
“So you keep telling me.”
“I hate you.”
“The feeling’s mutual.”
“Aren’t you two friends, then?” Charlie asked.
“No.” They both spoke at the same time.
“Are you supposed to be helping me on my way? Because you’re not doing a good job of it.”
“How about if we hold your hands,” Emmett said.
Charlie pushed to his feet and held out his hands, Emmett and Nix stood up and took hold of his fingers.
