Page 31 of Inbetweeners
“He’s Phoenix and I’m Emmett.”
Phoenix huffed. “What happened to ignoring the annoying dead person in the back of the car?”
“Where are you from?” Harry asked.
“Throw him out,” Phoenix said.
“Nooooo! I’ll shut up. I promise.”
The silence lasted four seconds.
“You don’t haveanypowers?” Harry asked. “I mean you’re not very good at persuading me to leave.”
“We go for friendly persuasion first. Then I take over,” Phoenix said.
“You’re Grim Reapers? Cool!”
“I’m not grim.” Phoenix glanced at Emmett.
“You think I am? I have fucking good reason. I just got killed in a hit-and-run. Well, I’m assuming the driver didn’t stick around.”
“No. Did you see who was driving?” Phoenix asked. “One of the witnesses said it was a woman.”
“I was too busy getting killed to notice.”
“So do you have superpowers?” Harry asked.
“Yes,” Phoenix said as Emmett said, “No.”
“We can make annoying pests disappear,” Phoenix said.
“Like mice and rats? And you can’t die. Well, you’re dead but you can’t be killed-killed, right? I saw them bring you in. Your head was well smashed up. You could see your brain. Well,youcouldn’t. I could. It was gross. You washed away all the blood and bits of brain with the hose, though, so you're fine now. I wonder if I could have been a doctor. I didn’t get queasy or anything.”
Oh God.Emmett turned to Phoenix. “Did you manage to get to that other address?”
“No.”
“Should we go now? We don’t want to go back to the flat yet, do we?”
He hoped Phoenix understood what he was saying. Once Harry knew where they lived…
“Good point. Enter the address into the satnav.”
“Oh,” Emmett gasped. “Where’s my phone and wallet?”
“Get my phone out of my pocket.”
Emmett gave a heavy sigh, then slid his hand into Phoenix’s jeans.
“Deeper,” Phoenix muttered. “Feel around a bit. More than that. Be bold. Left a bit. Now up and down. Oohhh.”
Emmett yanked out his fingers. “Fuck off. When you stop at traffic lights, you can give it to me then.”
“I’ll take longer than that togive it to you.”
Emmett glared and Harry made aphwoarsound.
“Are you two banging each other?” Harry asked.
