Page 60 of Inbetweeners
Fuck you, Dad.
“I hope a lot of his friends went to his funeral,” Phoenix said.
“It was just a private family affair.”
Emmett wanted to leave.Now!He pushed to his feet.
“Parents shouldn’t have to bury their children.” Phoenix stood up at his side. “You must really miss him.”
“Of course.”
Emmett couldn’t bring himself to say another word. More memories were rushing back, ones he didn’t want and he staggered under the weight of them. Phoenix had to help him out of the house.
“What a fucking pair!” Phoenix said. “Both parents? You couldn’t have one that was nice?”
“Clearly not.”
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
Harry joined them as they reached the car.
“Shall I drive?” Phoenix asked.
“Worried I’ll crash?”
Phoenix shook his head. “You’re a careful, courteous driver. You didn’t even exceed the speed limit on the motorway and almost everyone does that.”
Phoenix set the satnav and pulled back onto Stancliffe Road.
“There’s a tennis court in your back garden,” Harry said.
“My mother is a fanatic.”
“And a swimming pool.”
“My father is a fanatic.”
“I only saw one picture of you.” Harry sighed. “I thought they might have turned your bedroom into a shrine.”
Emmett half-chuckled. “That was never going to happen. They redecorated the day after I moved out to go to university. The painter was booked weeks in advance.”
“Did you achieve what you wanted with this visit?” Phoenix asked. “Your parents are shits. Do you remember that now?”
“Yes, and I know how I died. I suppose I was just curious. I’m pissed off that they didn’t honour my wishes over organ donation. I’m unsurprised they don’t miss me. I now remember more than I wanted to about my childhood and I’d like to get drunk.”
“Best idea you’ve had yet.”
“Not for me,” Harry said.
“Watching me get drunk will bring you boundless delight, I promise,” Emmett said.
But it was Emmett who felt delight at having someone on his side for a change. Even if it was Phoenix.
