Page 52 of Inbetweeners
“Do you think the guy you’d just blown was the one who stabbed you?” Emmett asked.
“I made it sound like it was him, but I don’t think so. He wasn’t rough. He didn’t pull at my hair or shove in too hard. He’d walked away. I saw him walking away. But then again… I turned round, so maybe… I still had the money in my pocket though. The police found it.”
“What were you doing on the streets?” Emmett asked.
“I’d been living with my boyfriend, but he cheated on me. I got…upset and he threw me out.”
“No job? No friends?” Phoenix asked.
“My boyfriend was my boss.” Harry sighed. “The friends turned out to be his friends, not mine. That blowjob for money… It was the first time I’d ever done that. I was really hungry. I mean, I feel bad I had to resort to doing it, but…”
“We’re really not judging you,” Phoenix said.
“What did the guy look like?” Emmett asked.
“Tall with short grey hair. He had piercings and a tattoo on his neck. He was hot.”
Which fit some of the description of the guy who’d spoken to Charlie and the one who’d killed Jamie. A glance at Phoenix told him he’d registered that too.
“How did he pick you up?” Emmett asked.
“I was begging in Islington. He crouched down and asked if I wanted to make fifty quid.” Harry gave a choked laugh. “I really did. Fifty quid I never got to spend.”
“We recognise your description of the man,” Phoenix said.
Harry’s eyes widened.
“When you died, did you come out of your body and see him?” Emmett asked.
“He might have been there, but I didn’t see him. Someone found me really fast and the police were there quickly too. I didn’t see a woman.”
“Maybe the guy didn’t have time to do whatever he wanted to do before you were found,” Phoenix said.
“But it might not have been him who stabbed me.”
“We think it was,” Phoenix said. “Stay close to us. And if you see him, grab Emmett’s hand and really wish yourself gone, okay? We don’t know why he wants dead people to go with him, but it isn’t because he wants to help you.”
“Okay.”
The funeral home was only too happy to talk to them. Harry had orders to be on the lookout for the arrival of Albert’s body, hopefully along with Albert’s ghost, and Emmett had told him to keep coming back to let them know he was okay. The funeral director, Donald Olsen, was a thin, bald guy who had very clammy palms. After Emmett had shaken his hand, he furtively wiped his on his backside and heard Phoenixtskbehind him.
Harry came in and out of the room several times as they were talking, shaking his head and disappearing again. Emmett felt guilty that they really had no interest in anything Olsen was telling them about the prospective funeral of their ‘father’. But since Phoenix just sat there not saying a word, Emmett felt obliged to keep asking questions.
Why do people choose embalming? How long does it take? Is it eco-friendly? Is there an eco-friendly funeral package? What’s the average price for the whole thing? What funeral transport do you provide? Can you get horses? Can we choose the colour of the horses?He just about stopped himself asking what the horses were called.
Finally, Harry burst through the wall and moved between Emmett and Olsen. “Albert’s just arrived, so has his ghost and the grey-haired guy is here too. The one who paid me for…you know what. He’s in the next room where there’s lots of bodies. He saw me.”
“Oh no. The meter!” Emmett shoved to his feet. “Phoenix, will you go and move the car while I finish up?” He added in a whisper, “Get Harry out of here.”
“No, you do it!”
Emmett glared. “I’m feeling emotionally drained. I don’t think I can hurry. We don’t want to get a fine.” He dropped down on a chair in the hallway.
Phoenix sucked in his cheeks, but moved towards the exit with Harry who was frantically pointing towards a door on Emmett’s right.
“Would you like some water?” the funeral director asked Emmett.
Phoenix shoved Harry through the closed door back onto the street and turned. “Can I see the room where you keep the bodies?”
