Page 138 of Tell No One
“You clearly didn’t want to or you’d have told me before now.” Tag brushed his fingers over the place where the bullet pushed against the material of his jeans. “You lied about what happened.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t bear the thought of you hating me.”
Delaney’s words shocked him. Tag felt a sudden surge of protectiveness towards someone who’d never appeared weak to him before.
“Why would I hate you?” Tag whispered.
“Because I hurt you.”
For a moment, Tag wanted to rage at him. Didn’t he realise how much he’d hurt him over the last two weeks?
Delaney glanced at him, but didn’t say another word as he drove back.
When they were in the flat, Tag went to the kitchen, took out two plates and cut the shortbread in half.
“Don’t tell her I shared it.” Tag held out the plate.
Delaney took the plate from him and put it down, then reached for Tag’s hand. “Come and sit with me.”
Once Tag settled on the couch, Delaney let go of his hand. Tag had hoped he wouldn’t.
“You know now that things didn’t go quite as I described.” Delaney took a deep breath. “The American had a sniper’s rifle. Mine is as well, but I knew the M82 made him dangerous. He was disturbed when he took the first shot. But when I saw how close he’d come to hitting you, I couldn’t let him fire it at you a second time. I shouldn’t have let him take the first. So I shot you instead to knock you over. Then I shot him.”
“Why didn’t you just shoot him?”
“Because Feely would have shot me. I couldn’t get two shots off fast enough to disable them both. I took a risk.”
Tag sighed. “You saved my life.”
“I might have killed you.”
“But you didn’t. You should have told me. Did you really think I wouldn’t be able to forgive you? You saved me. What is there to forgive?”
“Maybe I can’t forgive myself!” Delaney snapped.
“Yeah, you can. You did your job. You’re not a guy who has regrets.”
“You’ve no idea what I’ve done.” Delaney’s face was expressionless. “You were going to leave, so leave. Use the money. You have enough to start up somewhere on your own. You can buy a kiln, a potter’s wheel and—”
“Oh shut the fuck up. You’re being mean to try and get me to flounce off. You think anger beats pain? It doesn’t. If you want me to leave, just ask me to go, with a proper explanation. Tell me why this won’t work and make me believe you. Only am I supposed to pretend I’ve not heard you whisper that you love me?”
A muscle ticked in Delaney’s cheek.
“I know I’m an irritating little shit sometimes, but why can’t we try to see if we work? Let’s go to another country like Ahsan and Rafiq. We can start again somewhere else. I’m rich. You paid me a lot more than Henry. I can support you and when the money runs out, I’ll earn a fortune selling my pots and you can stay home and do the dishes and the cleaning.”
“Careful,” Delaney said.
“Just the cleaning then.” Tag’s heart was thumping hard because at least Delaney was listening to him. “You’ve spent a long time just…surviving. All these years without a proper home because you can’t let yourself grow to love a place in case you lose it. Everything in your world has been temporary, but it doesn’t need to stay that way. You don’t have to keep choosing houses that are isolated. I get that you don’t want neighbours because they’d get to know you and you’d have to move again, but choose a different way of life. Choose one with me. Your world has changed. I’m in it now.You can change.”
This was their last chance. If Tag couldn’t get him to see a different future, there was no hope.
“I’m not sure I can.”
Tag clenched his teeth.Don’t get angry.“You could at least fucking try. Don’t waste this chance to be loved.”
