Page 136 of Fe
He felt the change in Ripley’s cock. Bigger. Harder. Fen was going to come too. Release, completion, satisfaction—darkness racing toward him as orgasm rushed through their bodies. Ripley erupted inside him with a groan as Fen did the same between them. He could feel Ripley’s come flooding inside him, hitting his prostate and it wasn’t just the way it felt, it was knowing Ripley was inside him, really inside him, that sent Fen soaring.
26
Early the next morning, Fen packed a few things in his backpack and left before Ripley woke. He couldn’t face having to lie about where he was going and he didn’t want Ripley to lie to him. Ripley hadn’t packed a bag to go to his mother’s, and didn’t have presents to take, as far as Fen knew. Fen was almost positive he was going to stay in the house and quietly mourn Alejandro.
He got it. He really did. So he thought it would be better to slip away and when he came back on Boxing Day, everything would be okay again. Well, as okay as it could be. He left a note in the kitchen sayingsee you Wednesday xxand silenced his phone.On the spur of the moment, he decided to detour via Brompton cemetery, assuming he could find Alejandro’s grave. He googled as he waited for a bus, found a burial plot locator for Brompton and moments later, uncovered the area and row number for the grave.That was easy.
At the entrance to the cemetery, he bought a little bunch of flowers from a mobile vendor. There was a plan of the layout on display and Alejandro’s plot was way over on the far side. Fen was aching before he’d got there. It was still early and there was no one around, which was good. He didn’t want to risk bumping into any of Alejandro’s family, or even worse, Ripley.
The cemetery was very quiet, the only sound came from distant traffic and birdsong. Fen glanced at the graves as he walked. Sad angels with folded wings, elaborate mausoleums, ivy-covered crosses, sculptured lions and simple stone slabs, most of the inscriptions very worn. Fen didn’t want to be buried. Nor did he want his name engraved on anything. He’d like his ashes thrown to the wind from the top of a cliff.But not yet, please.
Alejandro’s grave was simple. A rectangular black granite headstone engraved with his name, year of birth and year of death.A son loved and missed always. Forever in our hearts.Fen put the flowers at the bottom edge of the plot and checked he was unobserved before he spoke.
“Hello, Alejandro. You don’t know me. My name’s Fen Wood. I’m sorry life got too much for you. I’d never judge anyone for deciding to end things. I might decide that too if my life gets too difficult. One day I’ll need braces to walk, then a wheelchair and my lungs will stop working properly and my heart will fail. I don’t want to be dependent on people for… Sorry, this wasn’t supposed to be about me.”
He glanced around again. “I came because I wanted you to know Ripley is still sad about you. He blames himself for what happened. He thinks he should have realised how far you’d fallen, but I know it’s easy to hide stuff if you’re determined enough.”
Fen kept his fear bottled up. Thinking about what was to come wasn’t good for him or his mum.
“He’s only just found your note. I managed to get into the box for him. Maybe you thought he’d break it open if he didn’t solve the puzzle or maybe you didn’t want him to see the note straightaway. Only you know the answer. I’m not sure if what you said in the note made him feel any better. It should have done. That’s what you intended, but I guess it will take time. At least this year he put up a Christmas tree.”
It showed Ripley was starting to get over Alejandro’s death, didn’t it?
“You’ll be forever in his heart, as you are in your family’s. That will never change, but it’s kind of sad Ripley thinks more about you when it’s Christmas, which should be a happy time. Anyway, I wanted to tell you I’m trying to make him happy because I know that’s what you’d want for someone you loved.”
For someone you love.Fen’s eyes filled with tears.Love.That couldn’t happen. He couldn’t let it happen. Not just because he didn’t want his heart broken, but because he didn’t want to be a damaged bird in Ripley’s life. If Ripley fell in love with him, Fen would have to leave and go somewhere he couldn’t be found. It wouldn’t be fair to stay. He didn’t want Ripley to have to look after him when he couldn’t walk, couldn’t even get to the bathroom or…
No!Where had those thoughts come from?Fen brushed the tears from his face and set off back the way he’d come. He averted his head when a guy passed him and ignored the “Morning” thrown his way. He hoped it didn’t look as if he’d been crying.
He’d gone another fifty metres when he heard someone shout, “Hey! You! Wait!”
Fen glanced round to see the man he’d passed was hurrying towards him. He was tall, his short hair peppered with grey. Maybe in his late forties. Fen wasn’t sure what help he could be. He didn’t know this place.
The man came to a halt in front of him. “Did you leave the flowers?”
Oh shit.Fen struggled over what to say. He looked angry and Fen didn’t want to get thumped.
“It has to be you. Fresh flowers. First thing in the morning. No one else around. Who are you? How did you know my brother? Did you work for him? Were you sleeping with him?”
Fen reeled under the barrage of questions. “I never met him.”
“Then why leave flowers on his grave? It was you, wasn’t it?”
The man looked more puzzled than angry now, but Fen didn’t know how to explain without involving Ripley.
“Ripley,” the man snapped. “Did he ask you to do this?”
Fen gasped. No chance now of claiming he’d chosen a grave at random to leave flowers because his father had been…lost at sea? Fen’s face had given him away.
“I found a letter from Alejandro in a puzzle box of Ripley’s that was accidentally sent to auction.”
“A suicide note?”
Fen nodded. “Do you think we could sit down?” He didn’t wait for an agreement but made for a nearby bench.
The guy sat next to him. “I’m Mateo.”
“Fen. You’re Alejandro’s brother.”
