Page 146 of Fe
“Is that all?”
“If anyone visits who has kids, at least there’ll be something to amuse them.”
“I’m not letting anyone play with this. It’s taken us thirty minutes to put together.”
Fen handed him the metal ball. “See if it works.”
The ball raced around the track, knocked into other balls, bounced on a trampoline and finally reached the end. They high-fived.
“Brilliant,” Ripley said.
“Now this.” Fen handed him two small parcels.
In the first was a little wooden hare.
“It’s netsuke. It might be really valuable. I found it at the fayre we went to. It can go next to the kintsugi globe—oh and the plate once I’ve mended it.”
“It’s lovely. It feels so smooth. Thank you.” He put the hare down and opened the last parcel. Ripley almost choked when he saw the T-shirt. It saidWorld’s Okayist Barrister.
“There’s a print shop on the high street. I wasn’t sure how to spell okayist and neither were they.”
“It’s great.”Except it was okayest. But that was fine.
Everything was great. Fen wore the unicorn onesie Ripley had bought him and turned the tin of croissants into little dogs, whichdidtaste delicious. Ripley didn’t remember until it was almost lunchtime, when Fen had a call from his mum, that he hadn’t spoken to his own mother. While Fen was chatting to his, Ripley made the call.
“Hello?”
She had to know it was him, but Ripley still said, “It’s me. Happy Christmas. How are things?” He steeled himself.
But it wasn’t the litany of complaints he’d expected. She had a moan but seemed delighted to be able to see the sea from the lounge and the bedroom window of the rental flat. Petra was cooking Christmas dinner and they were going to watchIt’s a Wonderful Lifeafter they’d eaten. Ripley didn’t try to cut her short, but let her talk as long as she wanted to and thought, after he put the phone down, it had been the easiest conversation he’d had with her for years. Or had Fen made him more tolerant?
Why was he wondering? Fenhadmade him more tolerant.
It was the best Christmas Day he’d ever had.
Fen wanted to pinch himself. He was so happy, it scared him. Ripley was happy too. Fen wasn’t imagining that. Except it was hard to rid himself of the notion that something was going to go wrong because in his experience, it always did. Too much happiness was dangerous. So was having money paid into his bank account. But it was only temporary.
As the week progressed, they settled into a routine that suited them both and Fen began to hope maybe this was it, despite how it started, despite Ripley’s intention, the ending wasn’t already written. Yet even Fen’s throat-filling hope floundered when he reminded himself when you wanted something too much, it was easy to convince yourself it would happen, that Ripley would want him to stay.
Except Fen’s endingwaswritten. His BMD wasn’t going away. It would get worse andhehad to deal with that. Not Ripley. Ripley wanting him to stay was a bad thing.
No, it isn’t.
Yes, it is.
Fen told himself off. He was sliding into anxiety he didn’t need. Ripley knew what BMD would lead to. He wasn’t the sort to push Fen aside because of that. They were okay for now and maybe that okay for now might last forever. Did that mean it was love? Fen didn’t know but what he did know was Ripley’s kindness made him feel happy. Content in a way he’d not felt for a long time.
When he woke on Friday morning, the last weekday of time off work, it was to a sound he didn’t recognise. This was a quietish street and Fen could hear the sounds of people talking, shouting, engines revving. Had something happened?
The doorbell rang.
Ripley lay fast asleep beside him. Fen slid out of bed and limped over to the window. He peeped from behind the curtain and gulped. There were people on the pavement below and across the street, many of them holding cameras. What was going on? He went back to the bed and turned on his phone. It beeped with message after message, then rang in his hand and he almost dropped it.
“Hello?” Fen said.
Ripley stirred and blinked at him.
“Fen Wood? Or should I say, Miller? This is Jerry Clark. I work for theDaily Times.Can we have a quick chat?”
