Page 159 of Fe
“Matthew?”
“I heard you tell him I wasn’t a mistake. That was nice to hear, but we both know I was a mistake. It wasn’t a big jump to assume he was telling you that with all the crap in the news, you wouldn’t get silk if you were associated with me. Am I right?”
“The trouble with listening in on someone’s phone call is you don’t hear the other side of the conversation. He had no right to say that to me and even if it’s true, I don’t fucking care.”
Fen swallowed hard.
“You’ve made me happy. That’s worth more to me than taking silk. I didn’t want a relationship, or at least I only wanted one I could control, and yet from the moment I met you, an out-of-control relationship was what we had. You making me happy was something I hadn’t anticipated. Or the extent to which you changed me. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want you to hurt me. We’ve done both those things.”
“Here you go,” a woman said and a pound coin landed in front of them.
“We’re not begging,” Ripley called out. He picked up the coin and offered it back to her.
“I’m so sorry! It’s a cold night and…” She took the coin and hurried off.
Fen smothered a chuckle. “If we sit here long enough, we might get enough to buy a coffee to share.”
Ripley stood up and pulled Fen to his feet. “You shouldn’t be out in the cold. Come home with me. I meant what I said. I’ll drive you wherever you want to go tomorrow. Or I’ll pay for a hotel tonight for you if you want.”
“What do you want?”
“I told you. I’d like you to come home with me.”
“Did you eat my sandwich?”
“No.”
“Sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then. Home.”
Ripley slept most of the way in the Uber, but he didn’t let go of Fen’s hand so maybe he wasn’t asleep, but just had his eyes closed. Fen hadn’t changed his mind about leaving, but the way he’d tried to do it had been wrong. He had to make Ripley understand his reasons.
Snow was settling as they arrived back in Islington. There were no longer any reporters around.
“Old news or too cold?” Fen asked.
“Probably both.”
“Do you think my half-sisters are going to keep quiet?”
“They probably will if their father tells them to.”
“They seemed keen to be on the TV.”
“But unless you’re there for them to attack, the show won’t be interesting.”
Once they were inside, Ripley locked the door and leaned back against it. “Do you want that sandwich?”
“We could share it. Then sit in the hot tub.”
“Okay.”
Fen won a little smile from him.
“I’ll turn up the temperature and get some towels. The sandwich is in the fridge.”
