Page 116 of Everything That Kills Me
It hurt that Zeph hadn’t been able to be there for him. “You could have called.”
“I wanted to, but I was trying to let you start again. You’re better off not knowing me.”
“So why have you come now?”
“Because my heart wrestled with my head and won. I don’t want you to start again. I need you to want me.”
Zeph swallowed hard.
“Please, Zeph,” Jack whispered.
And with those words, said so softly, Zeph was his once more. Why did he keep showing all these desperate parts of him? Why couldn’t he be cold and controlled? But Zeph couldn’t bear missing him and Jack was back, along with Zeph’s love and his hate and there was nothing he could do but go with the flow. He’d seen the rip and still let it take him. Zeph kissed him.
Twenty-Seven
Jack knew he shouldn’t have come. Zeph ought to be shouting at him, calling him a bastard, asking why the hell he thought he could simply walk back into his life. He knew he had no right to be doing this. But telling Zeph he shouldn’t have got involved with him had also been a mistake. He’d hurt him and he didn’t want to hurt him. He just…wanted him. Then Zeph had kissed him and Jack was lost.
When they finally pulled apart for air, he pressed his head next to Zeph’s, resting his forehead on the door while he concentrated on dragging air into struggling lungs. He’d been brought up to be tough, right from the day Thomas had rescued him. Hewastough. He was also determined, resourceful, brave, ruthless, intelligent… and yet he found himself afraid of rejection. He shouldn’t care, but he did. It was unsettling to feel vulnerable.
Jack turned his head so his mouth was almost touching Zeph’s neck and breathed him in. He was close enough to taste his skin, though he didn’t. But his mouth watered.
“I waited and waited,” Zeph whispered. “You didn’t come.”
“I’m here now.” He wanted to wrap his arms around Zeph and hold him tight. Returning his kiss was as far as he’d got. Maybe he wasn’t brave at all. Maybe this was the most important thing at this moment to get right. Let Zeph decide where this went.
He felt Zeph’s hand slide between them, cradling his dick through his jeans.
“I want you,” Zeph whispered.
The breath caught in Jack’s throat. Zeph’s words gave him the courage he’d been looking for. He turned Zeph’s face towards his and this time, Jack kissed him. How could kissing Zeph feel like coming home? But as hot and sweet andcomforting as it was, it was no longer enough. Jack needed his mouth on Zeph’s chin and his cheeks and his jaw and his neck.His lovely neck.And while he was kissing and nuzzling him, Zeph was fumbling with the button, then the zip on Jack’s jeans. Warm fingers slid inside his shorts, wrapped around his cock and Jack put his forehead to Zeph’s and stopped breathing.
“I wasn’t going to do this,” Jack mumbled.
“Nor was I.”
“Are you going to stop?”
“No.”
Zeph rolled his thumb over the tip of Jack’s cock and electricity flashed into his balls.
Jack couldn’t have said how they managed to take off their clothes and get onto the single bed while still kissing. But they did. They lay facing each other, hands linked, and Jack wanted so badly to be inside him.
“Do you have anything?” Jack whispered.
“No.”
Jack rolled onto his back, pulled Zeph on top of him and groaned into his neck. “Not even lube?”
“I ran out of a litre container two hours ago. If you’d been here two hours ago… Oh well. Bad luck.”
Jack laughed. That Zeph could still joke…
“Does shower gel work?” Zeph asked. “Well, I know it does because I’ve done extensive research, but…er…only with my hand.”
“Run out of condoms too?” Jack’s heart thumped.
“You’re fishing?”
