Page 23 of Everything That Kills Me
“I didn’t disappear with him. Jack came looking for me because he hadn’t realised it was my birthday. He thought it was yours. We got talking about physics homework.”
“I wanted to dance with him. I asked him to come. He was my date.”
“He had to go home. That’s not my fault.”
“Go away!” she shouted.
He stepped closer. “Alice, I don’t think he’s interested in going out with anyone.”
She threw a pillow at him. It missed, but Zeph retreated. He worried about her. But what could he do? If he called Elisa, he could guess her response.
Zeph used the bathroom, cleaned his teeth and went to bed. The party was still in full swing downstairs. He picked up his phone and looked at Jack’s number. He wanted to store it in a way no one but him would understand and settled on 7850, the density of steel in kilograms per cubic meter.
He’d just put his phone down when it pinged with a message. Zeph’s pulse jumped when he saw it was from Jack.
Club run tomorrow at Wisby?
Yes. Time?
Nine. At bandstand.
Great. Night.
Jack didn’t reply.
He checked the morning buses. There was one at 8.40 that would get him there in time. He curled up in bed. The sound of the party had stopped annoying him. Alice was still crying. Even that didn’t annoy him. His head was full of Jack. He reran their conversation, replayed everything. Even if Jack wasn’t interested in him in the way Zeph hoped, he could be a friend.
Zeph had spent so long afraid of saying the wrong thing, looking at someone the wrong way, afraid that Rufus and Scott would work out that he was gay… But for the first time, he kept his fears at bay and let desire take control. Jack was his friend. He might be more than a friend.
It felt as if a door had opened.
When Zeph woke at six, the house was silent. He used the bathroom, padded downstairs and groaned at the mess. The hall was littered with bottles and cans, and the kitchen looked as if someone had emptied rubbish from the bins over every part of it. Zeph went back to the hall, grabbed his trainers from the shoe cupboard and put them on. Then he started to clear up.
It took two hours of hard work before he showered. He put on his running gear, slipped his water bottle into his mini backpack and left the house.
He reached the bandstand just before nine and found Jack stretching. He stood with his back towards him, pulling his arm over his head and leaning to one side. Zeph stood and admired his long, long legs, muscular arms and that strip of flesh above his shorts that kept revealing itself. The shorts Zeph wore didn’t hide his fascination.
Jack turned and nodded at him. “Hi.”
“Morning.” Zeph dragged his backpack in front of him and moved to where Jack wouldn’t see the state of him before he did some stretches. “Did you see the group out there swimming?I’m not keen on the sea on a hot summer’s day let alone a cold September morning.”
“Cold-water swimming’s fun.”
Zeph shot him a horrified glance over his shoulder. “I can see that getting out would be fun. Not so much the getting in.”
“You should try it.”
“Hmm.”
“Ready?”
“Almost.” Thoughts of cold-water swimming had the desired effect and Zeph put on his backpack.
He worried Jack would run too fast but he managed to keep up.
“Do you ever run to music?” Zeph asked as they headed along the concrete promenade next to the sea. He had his earbuds in his backpack.
“Sometimes. Or I listen to a podcast. I rarely have anyone to talk to unless Thomas runs with me.”
