Page 33 of Everything That Kills Me
Jack was furious by the time Zeph had finished. If he’d been able, he’d have made Zeph’s father pay for what he’d done.
Zeph had taken one bite out of his sandwich and crushed the life out of what was left.
“I didn’t think I’d ever given him a reason to think I was gay,” Zeph whispered.
“Are you?”
Zeph’s exhale was so long, it seemed as if he’d never inhale again. Zeph faced Jack square on, then said, “Yes. I’m gay.” Then he shuddered and closed his eyes. “Has the world ended? Am I about to get washed away by a tsunami? Struck by lightning? Spat at by you?”
Jack stayed silent.
Zeph opened his eyes again. “Okay. None of the above. When you met me, did you think—oh he’s gay?”
Jack didn’t know the right thing to say, so he kept quiet.
“Maybe I should be asking—do you mind that I’m gay?”
He knew the answer to that. “No.”
Zeph’s shoulders relaxed a little. “You’d think over the last couple of decades that people would have grown more tolerant and I suppose many have, but that’s worsened the behaviour of those entrenched in hatred of anyone different.” Zeph sighed. “Don’t worry that anyone will think you’re gay because you talk to me. My family object to me being friends with you because they imagine it’s stopping you going out with Alice. Don’t look for logic. There is none.”
“I’d never go out with her.”
“They’re overprotective. Alice has had a rough time. She’s in Georgia’s shadow. It’s hard having a sister who’s pretty, clever and popular. Though I don’t know why Georgia’s so popular because she’s an arse at home.”
“So what now?”
“My dad was waiting for the opportunity to confront me about being gay. Now he has. And now I know how he feels about it. One step out of line and he’ll throw me out.”
Shit!“Is there some reason why he feels as he does?”
“His brother, my Uncle Martin, was once his sister. Their parents refused to accept he was trans and my dad sided with them. They’re dead now, but Dad and Uncle Martin don’t speak and I’m not supposed to have anything to do with him.”
“But you do?”
“Yes.”
“What are you going to do?”
“What would you do?”
“I’d leave home, but you’re not me. Do you want to stay in the closet and not rock the boat for the next two years until you go to university?”
“In an ideal world, no. Can I ask my first question again? Did you think I was gay? Scott and Rufus call me princess but that’s just their way of being mean. They’ve never been openly homophobic, not really.” Zeph paused. “So…did you think I was gay?”
“I hoped.” He stared at Zeph, wondering if he dared kiss him.
Then Zeph smiled, a big bright smile. One that Jack couldn’t resist. He reached out and as he pressed his fingers to the back of Zeph’s neck, Zeph released a shuddering sigh. Jack leaned in and kissed the rest of the air out of Zeph’s lungs.
Nine
Life might be short
But it’s sweet today
Bright
New
