Page 39 of Everything That Kills Me
“What homework are you going to do first?”
“Maths. Why? Are you staying?”
Jack nodded, and took out his books.
“What was all that about Rufus and Alice?” Zeph whispered.
“Something I noticed. Rufus likes her.”
“Now we need her to like Rufus.”
Zeph thought about the gorgeous guy sitting next to him, and then thought about Rufus with his bad haircut and horrible attitude. She wasn’t going to change her allegiance.
He ended up explaining some of the maths to Jack. It felt good that he could do something Jack couldn’t. Though when Jack leaned over to look at Zeph’s book, and his hand slid ontoZeph’s knee, he wondered if not getting the maths was an excuse to sit closer to him. He could feel Jack breathing on his cheek and Zeph’s own breathing faltered.
“Bathroom,” Jack whispered in his ear.
Zeph stood up so fast, he scraped the chair on the floor and everyone turned to look at him. He heard Jack give a quiet laugh.
He was hardly aware of making his way to the toilets. One moment he’d been at a desk, the next at a sink. No one was in there. Zeph tried to take a deep breath and it got stuck somewhere on the way to his lungs.
Jack came in and mouthed,Alone?
Zeph nodded. Jack pushed open the door of the end stall, went inside and Zeph followed.
We can’t do anything. If we get caught, we’ll be in so much trouble.He should say that instead of thinking it.
“Stop panicking,” Jack whispered. “I just want to kiss you.”
Zeph saw the look of fierce determination on his face, and he was lost. It was as if there was a deep chasm in front of him and he had to jump across because going back was not an option. Jack would catch him. Jump!But Zeph didn’t move. It was Jack who put one hand on Zeph’s shoulder, the other around his tie and pushed him back against the door.
Jack leaned in and whispered, “I couldn’t concentrate on maths because all I could think about was kissing you.”
Zeph was too frightened of being overheard to risk speaking. Could hearts break if they beat too fast?Please don’t let that happen.As Jack left a trail of hot kisses up Zeph’s neck, Zeph clenched his fists, struggling not to make a sound. Then Jack’s lips were against his and Zeph’s heart beat even faster. The kiss was everything it had been before, and more.Oh God.Zeph felt overwhelmed with excitement. The only thing that reassured him was that he could sense Jack felt the same. He slipped hishands around Jack’s back and pulled him close so they stood plastered together.
Jack held onto Zeph’s tie and angled his head to kiss him more deeply.Don’t make a sound. Don’t.It was so difficult to keep quiet. Zeph wanted the kiss to go on and on. He had no idea whether they’d been in there for seconds or minutes. But the longer the kiss continued the more excited Zeph became and the more worried.
If someone hadn’t come into the toilets and farted, he might have come in his trousers. Now, he wanted to laugh, but Jack pressed his hand over his mouth. Zeph nodded. He breathed heavily into Jack’s palm, tempted to lick it but wasn’t quite brave enough.
The moment was over. Breathing steady, hearts calm but nothing would be the same. They stood motionless, staring into each other’s eyes.
The door to the toilets closed again and Jack let him go. “You leave first,” he whispered in Zeph’s ear.
All the way back to his desk, with his blazer buttoned up to hide the state he was in, Zeph felt certain everyone knew what they’d been doing. No one paid him any attention. Jack returned with chocolate bars from the vending machine and tossed one to him. Zeph fumbled and dropped it.
After he’d picked it up and seen the way Jack was eating his, Zeph’s mind went on an entirely unsuitable journey for the school library.
Ten
Jack was eight when Thomas told him he was training him for a reason.
“You’ll have a job to do when you’re older.”
“What job?” Jack asked.
“Let’s call it being an adjuster.”
“What does an adjuster do?”
