Page 47 of Everything That Kills Me
Well, he’d think about it.
Alice confronted him in computer studies before the teacher arrived. “Where’s Jack?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where does he live?”
“No idea.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Alice, I really don’t.”
“Is he sick?”
“How would I know?”
“Do you have his phone number?”
“No.”
“Liar. I’ll tell Dad.”
“I’m not lying. Look, don’t bother with Jack. He’s not interested.” He hesitated. “Rufus likes you.”
“But I don’t like Rufus. And how do you know he likes me?”
“The way he looks at you when he thinks no one is looking.”Maybe the way I look at Jack.
She rolled her eyes and turned away from him.
Zeph mentally groaned.
Maybe he should try the office anyway on the pretext of taking Jack the homework. He might be able to convince them. Make the homework sound more important than it was.Oh God. I’m as obsessed as Alice.
By the end of the final lesson of the day, Zeph had talked himself back down the mountain. The air was too thin at the top. He and Jack would never be anything more than school friends. Neither of them was openly gay. All they’d ever have were snatched kisses. Zeph didn’t want to only kiss in the toilets.
The further they let things develop, the more they’d worry about being seen, that someone would say something that couldn’t be unsaid. Plus, Zeph didn’twantto get too involved. He had his life planned out and he wasn’t going to let himself be derailed. Jack had a wanderlust and Zeph understood that, was even a little envious, but that wasn’t him. If Jack had planned to go to university, then things would have been different. Maybe they could have stayed friends, become more than friends especially if they ended up in the same city. Jack was clever. He could apply to Cambridge too and they could…Damn.
So much for not wanting to get involved. Lying to himself was never a good thing. He might have talked himself down, but he’d quite easily slipped into scampering back up. What if Jackasked him to go traveling with him for a year? The answer wasyesto a question that wouldn’t be asked. He could almost taste the disappointment, bitterness souring his mouth.
He retrieved his phone from his locker, slipped it into a pocket on his backpack, and was about to set off down the corridor when he saw Rufus and Scott coming his way. He turned round and headed for the office. He might as well ask for Jack’s address.
As expected, they wouldn’t tell him, but they did say he was off sick. As he left school, Zeph worried. How sick was he? Too sick to message him back? Thinking too hard about Jack meant he’d not paid attention to his surroundings. If he’d seen the bus coming, he could have run and caught it. But it sailed off down the road and he’d have to wait fifteen minutes for the next. As he reached the stop, Scott and Rufus stepped into his path.
“No bodyguard today, princess?” Scott asked.
“He’s invisible.” A nervous flutter in the pit of Zeph’s stomach turned to full on fear.
Scott moved behind him and Rufus stood in front. “Since he’s not here, you’re going to give us that twenty pounds.”
“No, I’m not. When you asked last term about sponsoring you, I said no. You had no right to put my name down. I’m not giving you any money.”
“So you do remember.” Rufus stepped on his foot and Zeph hissed in pain. “I had to pay because you didn’t.”
Zeph yanked his foot free. “Not my problem.”
“We’ll go with you to the cashpoint round the corner and you can draw it out,” Scott said. “And another ten quid for the inconvenience.”
